(Closed) Afraid I'm going to be really disappointed this Christmas

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Talk to him about how he feels. Where he stands on getting married. That would be much more direct than trying to interpret hints.

Post # 3
1973 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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gardener09 :  “How do I tell myself it’s ok if he doesn’t.”

You don’t tell yourself it’s ok. You’re an equal partner, this is your decision too. You have an adult conversation telling him you want to be engaged now, asking when does he want engagement. Then you meet in the middle. And decide the wedding date. You just don’t blindly accept that your future is 100% his decision.

Post # 4
3436 posts
Sugar bee

He’s old enough and you’ve been together long enough for him to be able to provide a substantive explanation besides vaguely stating “when the time is right.” It may be never, or not until he is 30, or within a year. But he should be able to say something.

Post # 5
2316 posts
Buzzing bee

“Christmas engagements are so cliche! good thing he didnt ask me for xmas” 

“Im glad he got me that new ___insert item____for xmas. He’s so thoughtful”

“Im so glad I got to spend this holiday with the man I love”

There is so much that you can tell yourself but I am afraid that if you already are hopeful you have no place to be but disappointed if it doesnt happen.  I agree with PP. Have a conversation with him about a time line and if he feels like he is ready for the next step.  There is also nothing keeping you from proposing to him.  Be direct and forth coming with your exact feelings. 

Post # 6
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Talk to him about a timeline. Find a compromise on when would be the deadline for a proposal based on when you would both like to get married. And make sure he is in agreement and then he will have until that date to make it happen. It’s not just something you have to hope and pray for on your own. It’s a decision for the both of you. If you tell him that it is important for you to get married next summer also, then maybe tell him you need at least a couple months to plan it out and maybe set like February as the deadline for a proposal. And depending if you want a larger wedding, possibly even before then. 

Post # 7
626 posts
Busy bee

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theatrejulia :  
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SoonMrsCrocker2 :  Yes!

You need to be able to talk to your husband about important life decisions. Have the conversation, be honest, and see where it takes you. Much better than guessing or hoping.

Post # 8
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Propose to him. 

Post # 9
238 posts
Helper bee

I’m afraid you will definitely have to talk to him. Not everyone has a sense of urgency around marriage, that’s why this board is full of people who are “waiting” for their partner to get it together. There’s nothing wrong with having a say over your own future.

Post # 10
8902 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
gardener09 :  Talk to him. Tell him you are an equal partner in your relationship and you don’t see why you have to sit around hoping and waiting for a prosal which may never come / or will not come soon enough for you. You are grown ups, you have a home and a life together, you should be in the loop when it comes to getting married.

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