(Closed) Afraid I'm turning into a Bridezilla… or a bitter bride.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow, I’m so sorry you feel that way.  🙁  I definitely don’t blame you for being upset.  If I was you, I’d be LIVID!  I don’t really have any good advice for you, but try to take some time for yourself to not thinking about wedding stuff.  *hugs*

Post # 4
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You have good reason to bitch. I would have lost my shit if my Fi didn’t do his fair share of the work. I think it’s time to have major talk with your Fi, wait until you are calm though. I think his lack of effort and support is a bad way to start of the partnership needed in getting married.  You have every reason to be upset. I hope he steps up to the plate once he sees it’s really stressing you out. Hang in there, and take a few hours for yourself to either get some sleep, have a glass of wine, or go for a relaxing spa day or something.

Post # 5
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re not a bridezilla at all!  Those are totally reasonable grievances!  Is your fiance maybe getting nerves about the wedding and postponing decisions because of that?  His behavior is pretty infuriating.  I say, make whatever decisions you have to make, and accept no complaints later – he had his chance to have input.

Post # 6
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just want to say I can relate SO much and you are definitely not bridezilla. I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but if I did, I wouldn’t be in the same position. haha Hang in there! 

Post # 7
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I was relying on dramamine while dealing with my last semester of school, planning the wedding, and sister-in-law drama to keep from getting sick all the time. Thankfully I didn’t have an unhelpful Fiance on top of those three things. I had to go to some things without him, but the important details did get finished together. If he hadn’t been willing to help at all, I’m pretty sure I’d be locked up in the looney bin before the wedding day even got there. If he isn’t interested in helping after you talk to him about how stressful he’s making your life, I think I’d stop all of the planning myself and let things just happen how they will. Tell the DJ to play whatever, don’t have special vows, don’t worry about a honeymoon (you may need the break, but he certainly doesn’t), use your own car for transportation, etc. Of course, it has to be said that if he isn’t supportive in tasks like these now, you’ll be pulling teeth to get his help on anything later and is that something you’re really ready to deal with?

Post # 8
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

His behavior is unacceptable.  The TWO tasks you have given him are not that hard.  I’d be furious.

Post # 9
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You’re not a bridezilla.  Hes being selfish and kind of a jerk.  You’re essentially doing it all.

But you are the one that wanted a wedding! You’re throwing your ‘big fucking wedding’ by and for yourself! 

I know you want and deserve more help.  It makes me think…is he always like ths?

Post # 10
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Big Truck:  Did the vent make it any better? Smile I’m sorry you’re dealing with the insensitive fiancee. I think men are just not interested in a lot of the important wedding stuff. Mine is the same way, involved in some part of it like the food and theme, but he can’t complete a wedding related task to save his life. His sole responsibilities were to book the DJ, select the english first dance song and book the car rentals, out of all those, he’s only done DJ and honeymoon after i nagged for months. OMG, i was going insane, i feel your pain. Try to relax, enjoy a nice glass of wine, or a cup of tea if you don’t drink, make some time for yourself with ur Gf’s.

Post # 11
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Jeeze, I would flip my shiz if I were you.  Honestly, why does he want to marry you if he doesn’t want to help?  Part of being a good partner is keying into when your SO/FI is having a tough go of things and being there to support them and lighten their load.  He either is clueless or is unwilling to see how stressed you are.  I CERTAINLY would not be comfortable with this crap, as it won’t get better in a marriage.

Perhaps it was always this bad, and you are just noticing it now that you are moving in? 

Post # 12
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

How about for engagement pictures, you obviously wouldn’t be able to use them for invites or Save-The-Date Cards or anything, but you could have the photoshoot after the wedding? You could still dress up or down, go on out the town or to the location of your choosing and gets some great shots of your and your husband to frame. That way you could still have the photoshoot and the pictures, it just would be after the wedding. 

Post # 13
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Thats not Bridezilla – he’s being kind of a dick.   🙁

Post # 14
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I agree. He needs a reality check.

Post # 15
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m sorry things aren’t going the way they should. I’m especially sorry that you couldn’t get your pictures and I would be really bummed about the Bachelorette party. It’s a big time in your life, and I can understand that it would be nice to be celebrated for a bit.

And I can’t believe your Fiance hasn’t helped pull his weight. That’s complete BS.

Post # 16
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Wow. I’m so sorry that you’ve been having to not only handle everything by yourself but also your Fiance won’t even give you any input regarding the decisions. As a prior poster noted, many men do not have strong opinions one way or the other on certain things; however, there are SOME things your Fiance should be interested in regarding his own wedding.

For what it’s worth, it sounds as if you’ve done everything that you could possibly have done to give your Fiance input into major and minor decisions but that he has just refused to participate. Given that, in my opinion, your Fiance really has forfeited any right he may later think he has to criticize any of the decisions you have had to make without him.

I haven’t seen many of your posts — I just remember your drop-dead-gorgeous e-ring! — so I don’t know anything about what your relationship is like with your Fiance. However, it doesn’t sound as if he is acting at all happy or excited for your wedding, which is only a few weeks away. I really can’t believe that he has done nothing AT ALL regarding your honeymoon!

Do you think that there is any possibility that he may be having second thoughts about the wedding but is too scared to tell you and that he may be choosing to act out and make you furious with him so that you’ll threaten to postpone or call off the wedding? If there is no chance of this, please forgive me for asking, since, as I noted, I really don’t know anything about your relationship.

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