Post # 1
Our wedding is 11/11/11, and I am FREAKING OUT right now after sending out a few save the dates this week and already hearing from many people that either they already have a wedding on that date, or won’t be able to come because it is a friday & they cannot get off of work, etc.
I am so afraid that I am going to be humiliated on my wedding day when no one shows up to celebrate with us. I haven’t really been stressing over much in regards to this wedding, as most things have come fairly easily…but I can’t imagine my heart not breaking if I see an empty room.
Is anyone else afraid of a lonely wedding?
Post # 3
We got married on a Friday in early December. It was a semi-destination wedding — most guests had to drive at least 2-3 hours and stay overnight. I knew I was asking a lot right before the holidays, plus it was the first day of Hanukkah and several of my close friends are Jewish. But the truth is, the people you really want to be there – those who are closest to you – WILL be there. So don’t sweat it!! Everything will be okay.
Post # 4
How many invites are you sending out? If you just sent the STD’s out maybe a lot of people haven’t been able to respond yet.. Its so easy to get stressed out with this wedding planning stuff especially when it comes to making sure everyone can come.
Post # 5
Don’t stress yet.
1. It’s a long time till then, people will change their mind a million times.
2. The important people will come, and that’s what really matters.
Congratulations, lady, you’re getting married! That’s the best part.
Post # 6
it is a friday daytime wedding or evening? i feel like most people who would comment on a STD would be the ones who are warning you in advance they cant come- dont fret!
Post # 7
@Mrs. Meowerson: Good point. I’ve gotten similar responses and haven’t even thought of it! People who can come (or might come) haven’t said a thing at all. I’ve only gotten no’s. No worries!
Somewhere there’s a website that will help you calculate the likelihood of people attending.
I can’t find the site right now, but it’s like… 85% of in town guests and 35-65% of out of town guests will say yes. And then, in the end, 10% of the yeses may no show in the end, even though you got them food and everything.
Post # 9
I feel like it is my own fault, but I have just been hearing a LOT of no’s already. It is Friday 11/11/11, an early morning 11am ceremony, and then a reception from 1 to 4 (luncheon reception), and then we are taking a break and anyone who is still around is invited to an after party at 8 pm when our venue turns into a salsa club.
It is veteran’s day, so some might have the day off…but I am afraid many won’t make it because it is a semi-destination wedding at a casino in Atlantic City. We are blocking off rooms, and having a rehearsal dinner the night before and a goodbye brunch the morning after for anyone who decided to get a room.
We originally wanted it to be small-ish, and invite only about 100 people total, but then realize that if 20% usually RSVP no, then we should invite more to get to 100 (what our venue wants us to have, minimum). Then I realized 22 of them are almost definitley not coming, so we were inviting 150 people, so that way we still end up with about 100 coming. Now, of those 125 or so who might come, many of them are ALREADY saying no just with the save the dates, and that is why I am freaking out. We had sent out about 30 save the dates, and I sent out another 15 or so today, and so many people already can’t make it.
I am trying to let people know that if the early morning isn’t going to work for them, that we would still love to see them at the after party…after all, so many of our friends go to Atlantic City for regular weekend nights anyway!
Thanks for letting me vent. I need to just be patient and I’m sure it will all come out fine….
Post # 10
DRaeH2W how are you dealing with it??
Post # 11
I’m scared that all of my college friends (who I was really close to) won’t come. It has been 3 years since I’ve graduated and probably two years since we’ve talked face-to-face. But I still want to see them at my wedding! I guess I can’t let myself be too disappointed if they don’t show up.
You have a while until your wedding, so hopefully people will take advantage of that and take off work. How can they already “have” to work if it’s so far away? I think they’ll show 🙂
Post # 12
I have an irrational fear about this. Probably because I had a family birthday party one year and only my grandma and my parents were there. No aunts and uncles and cousins like usual. It was just a miscommunication and I didn’t think it was a big deal, but when like three people that said they were gonna come to my engagement pary didn’t show and like 10 maybes I was kind of freaked out about it. Ever since then I’ve had this huge fear that getting people to RSVP and actually show up will be a nightmare. I just have this horrible vision of the room half empty like it was at my engagement party. Luckily my wedding is on a saturday in june and most people are local. I’m hoping the engagement party thing was just because people though eh we’ll just go to the wedding and not like eh she throws lame partys lets stay home.
So basically my point is that you’re definitely not alone. I think because I have this fear I tend to maximize it when someone says they can’t come. Then I feel like no one is coming because 5 people in a row out of 200 said they wouldn’t make it. I wouldn’t worry too much about it yet. You could always come up with a B and C list for if people start RSVPing no. Like PP said, all the important people will be there anyways.