To quote Infinite Waters, one of my favorite YouTubers (aka psychologist Ralph Smart), one sign someone is meant to be in your life is:
—They bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
Bee, being involved with this guy makes you a nervous wreck. Your body is shrieking at you. Pay attention. Yes, you may have anxiety issues. But, that does not preclude the possibility that sometimes your anxiety is 100% reality based.
Quit apologizing for other people’s bad behavior.
—He was ‘bitter’ about the ex. I’m going to guess that ‘bitter’ includes some trash talking; the lights should have started blinking red.
—He compared you to his ex. Major ick factor as well as wildly inappropriate. Whether you came off looking better or worse is of no moment, Bee. Lights blinking red begin to blink faster.
—He wouldn’t go back to his ex because had a kid with another man. Reeks of patriarchy, at the minimum. He is also failing to provide any explanation that makes sense. Nor did he bother to address your insecurities. Red lights starting to blink furiously.
—Tells you that your feelings are ‘ridiculous’. Bee, at six months, you are still in your Honeymoon Phase. This is as good as it will get. Don’t expect him to become less dismissive of your feelings. Red lights blinking furiously, alarms activated.
—If you’re around still. He’s cheap shotting you. Rather than just tell you that he is annoyed by your frequent breakup talk, he chose to backhand you. Is this what you want for yourself, Bee? The blinking red lights and alarms are not products of your imagination, fueled by some “irrational” anxiety.
I don’t know what your bf’s relationship is with his exw is about. But, the PPs are right. It will never end. It won’t magically dissolve when their child turns 18. There are lots and lots of years of her in your lives ahead if you stick with this guy.
Bee, your radar is not working properly. This guy was able to fly in undetected. That’s very concerning. How did your radar get so bent?