Post # 1
We have begun to talk about TTC. I have a confession and I hope I don’t get ripped to shreds but I had to get it out of my system. I’ve never been 100% happy with our sex life. It’s not bad, it’s just infrequent and he just doesn’t seem as interested as I am. Never has. We are intimate twice a month if I am lucky. We don’t have any reason not to be intimate more often, we don’t have children, crazy schedules, etc. or other things that make intimacy go down.
As we start TTC, I can’t stop thinking that after a baby makes our life busier we won’t have sex at all. It’s already difficult for me so I can’t imagine if it becomes any more infrequent.
Has anyone dealt with these feelings?
Post # 4
i am 25 weeks pregnant and we dont have sex as much as we use to. we were very sexually active before, now not so much. i dont like my body pregnant so i think thats what kinda puts a stop to things. i am not really scared to not have sex after because i am scared i will get pregnant again. i dont really want a 10 month old and newborn. im sure sex wont be a my priority, probably his. haha.
Post # 5
Honestly yeah your sex life will go down a bit after the baby is born. You are going to be tired and will have hardly any time to think let own have sex the first few months of babies life.
We have a 11 month old, and yes our sex life is not what it used to be, but we still make time for it. Mostly now we have to schedule it around little boy’s nap times and when he goes to bed at night…
Post # 6
My babies are nearly grown ups now but I had the same fears when I was TTC. My ex didn’t want much sex either and it probably killed him to have to have more sex when we were TTC (I went through a lot of infertility stuff).
I think it’s a perfectly legitimate worry you’re experiencing. When I expressed my fears to him, he’d just blow me off and tell me it wasn’t going to be a problem. He was right – it wasn’t a problem for him. I can be very sick or very tired and I’m always up for sex. He wouldn’t have sex with me at all during my prenancies even though the Dr told him it was completely safe. I thought I’d lose my mind (pregnancy cause a lot of blood flow down there and I was uber horny all the time!)
My ex’s lack of sex drive was just one of the things I couldn’t live with although we stayed married for 25 years, but it was a huge probelm for me. I went through a lot of self-esteem issues from it and he used sex as a control thing to hurt me. I think a lot of women live with this and frankly, at 53 yrs old, I have to say that life’s too short not to have as much sex as you want. It doesn’t sound like you’re getting your needs met now and I’d recommend working on that issue before TTC.
Post # 7
@lorie: thanks for the advice. we are in therapy now and this is one of the issues we hope to tackle.