Post # 1
So, my older sister is my maid of honor and is planning my bachelorette party. So far I know that we’re going to Atlantic City, having dinner & going to a club. I’m sure that she will plan a fun night for everyone, BUT I am so afraid that she will get super drunk and ruin the entire night for me. I used to go out with her the time, but now I never want to b/c every time we do she gets REALLY drunk & I literally have to CARRY her out. We end up either having to leave early b/c she is passing out or she refuses to leave when she’s super drunk & I have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn’t get hurt (or making out with some random guy!). NO FUN for anyone but her, so I don’t go out with her if there will be drinking involved (she even got like this at the beach last summer!). So, I’m starting to get very worried about the bachelorette party! I’ve tried to talk to her about this before (she’s 35, I don’t get why she won’t just grow up!), that I want to go out with her & have fun but not if she’s going to completely loose control. I never get through & she always ends up doing the same thing, I don’t know what if anything I should do.
Post # 3
Could you bring your parents in on the conversation? Maybe if you all sit down together, in a calm environment, and you explain your worries, with your parents backing you up, maybe then it’ll get through to her? I’m worried about this too, as my sister’s philosophy on drinking is that she better not remember the night the next morning! She drinks til she blacks out (and she’s 31). If your parents can’t or won’t back you up…could your fiance and friends? Or, and I know this is terrible, could you simply tell her thanks, but no thanks and ask another bridesmaid to throw your bachelorette? My sister got so offended that I even mentioned her maybe not drinking that she refuses to throw my bachelorette party. I may end up throwing my own, but frankly I’d rather do that then deal with a crazy drunk, ya know?
However it works out, good luck!
Post # 4
I think you need to sit her down and make sure that she realizes that this party is for you and that you don’t want to have to babysit her.
Post # 5
It sounds like you are letting her get away with this by owning her problem. Let her know up front that this is your night and you are not going to own her drinking problem. If she wants to get drunk and refuse to leave the bar, well too bad, you are going to leave her there and let her figure it out. She will probably be MUCH better behaved if she knows she is in charge of herself.
Post # 6
This just doesn’t sound like only trouble for your hen’s night, it sounds like she has a real problem with alcohol. Maybe you could sit her down and talk about your concerns. Maybe ask her to do something super important with you in the morning so she will planning on drinking less the night before. Just be careful how you bring it up because if she doesn’t think she has a problem, she could become very defensive.
Post # 7
It sounds like your sister has a real self esteem issue, in that she feels she needs to do this to get attention from men and have a good time. Could you maybe take her to a neutral environment away from alcohol – outfor lunch perhaps? And just have a wee chat with her. I’m sure she’d never intentionally ruin your night, andyou obviously care for her. Maybe if you jokingly say you need her to look after you on your last nigh of freedom; or ask her to be in charge of your photos? Maybe a distraction would help?
Just a wee thought xxx
Post # 8
I know how you feel. One of my BMs cant drink without getting WASTED and crying about her on again off again ex boyfriend who SUCKS!!! It can be really annoying and a large hassle if I am out with her. Not only am I worried about the bachelorette but Im worried about my wedding!!!
Post # 9
I think that you should sit down and talk to her too. I really don’t think that I would involve anyone else, as that is likely to embarrass her or make her upset. My Fiance and I actually went through something similar with his sister a few years ago. We sat her down and told her how much we loved her, and loved to be around, however did not love being around her and would not contine to be involved in events where she was drinking (or at least planned on getting wasted). We were unsure as to how it would go. But after many tears and hugs and support she did a complete 360. It went better than we could have ever expected. She still thanks us for that day.
Post # 10
will you have a dd for that night? maybe you could ask her to be the dd so she won’t be able to drink. or you could ask one of your other friends to watch after her so you don’t have to worry about it. i realize that it might not be so much fun for that friend… but if she’s going to get trashed no matter what you say, it’s your night and you shouldn’t have to worry about it.
Post # 11
My siater has diagnosed mental health disorders along with addiction problems. she has gotten 4 DUI’s and been hosptilized for the mentalhealth issues. I had the same concerns as you, so much so we discuessed not having a wedding party to keep her from having too much responsiblity or having a dry wedding.
I talked to her about my concerns and I think in the end she will realize it is my day. I also have the support of my family who know about her issues and will try to keep everything under control. I think hearing my concerns generally shocked her, even though she knows how concerned we have been about her. I thinkshe also felt bad that she might be excluded from being involved in things. Try talking to her and see how she reacts. It not maybe keep the event low key so it would be out of place for someone to get tanked.
Post # 12
I agree with artbee. Giving her duties (like designated driver) requiring her to be sober may help. She’ll realize that it’s all on her. Let her know that it is her responsibility to pay for everything, account for the other girls, and make sure THEY are taken care of too. Give her a lot of duties/responsibilities, and remind her of them when you are on your way to the party. During the party if you see her start to drink, tell her she needs to stop because she is responsible for EVERYONE ELSE and she needs to be sober to do that.
Post # 13
If nothing else works…ask one of your friends to watch her for the night. Then make it up to that friend with dinner later! At least that way you know she’s being cared for while she’s drunk….
Post # 14
I agree with littlebug…if she does happen to get drunk I would want to have a designated person to care for her. You will not have any fun if you are the one being responsible for her and it is your night to have fun and celebrate.