After 9 months of TTC – I'm officially scared! Advice please!

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
12294 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011
  • I’ve used ovulation strips to make sure we DTD on the right days. I prefer this to temping. Any advice?  Ovulation strips can tell you when your LH surge is and that ovulation could be imminent, but doesnt actually confirm ovulation.  Temping is the only way to do that on your own if you’re not getting your progeterone tested about 7 days after the surge.
  • I have been taking pre-natals for about a year. Should I try a different one?  It’s unlikely the prenatal effects fertility, especially if you have a healthy balanced diet alerady.
  • Has anyone used DHEA supplements? If so, what brand do you reccomend? What about CoQ10 supplements?   I would caution against DHEA supplements unless you’ve tested your free testosterone levels.  If you already have normal or high T levels, DHEA could be a bad idea.  CoQ10 seems to be univerally recmomened, but suggest Ubiqnol, easier metabolized version of CoQ.
  • I would say I was not stressed out about pregnancy until the last two months, so stress is a new factor. 
  • I am 36, Darling Husband is 37. We are healthy diet/excersisers. I already gave up alcohol. Is caffine an issue?  My REs all told me that 200mg of caffine, basically 1 cup a day is fine and there’s no need to give it up completely.  Unless you’re having 3+ cups a day, it’s unlikely to have a negative effect.
  • Period is very regular, I usually ovulate on CD9 or 10 (sometimes 11). Weirdly (maybe unrelated?) my period has been getting a lot worse. Lasts longer, heaveir bleeding, terrible cramps, sore breasts (which I never had before). Have you had a positive test?  Could there have been chemical pregnacies?
  • We are going to try using pre-seed this month – anyone have advice on this? Alternatives?
  • I’d like to start fertility accupuncture. How do I choose a good accupuncturist? What questions should I ask? Does accupuncture help male fertility too? 
  • Is there anything else I can do between now and my doctor appointment that will boost my chances? 

My advice would be not to freak out.  Even if you did need fertiiity treatments, it’s not the end of the world.  At this point in your TTC journey, you’re no where near the end of the road as far as getting pregnant and having a baby.  It took us over 5 years, 1 naturally TTC, 3 IUIs, 8 rounds of IVF, and 2 early miscarriages before we got our little miracle so I absoultely understand the fear that it may never happen.  Just take it one day at at time.  Even when you think TTC is goig to break you, you wake to another day and learn to deal and/or start to change what you picture for a future or how you get there.  Good luck.

Post # 19
3294 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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skylar84 :  I feel for you so I wanted to share my story which I hope helps.

We started TTC in Jan 2014 when we were 29. We kicked off with a big holiday to Australia for our 30th birthdays and were sure we would be pregnant straight away…. spoiler alert … we weren’t. At the start of 2015 we started fertility testing and I started accupuncture. We had every test done and nothing came up. I had brilliantly regular cycles, my husband’s sperm was fine, we were timing right as I had been temping for a while. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility which I think it the worst as there is nothing to ‘fix’ or come to terms with.

At the start of 2016 we went for a big holiday for my 32nd birthday and agreed to start IVF when we got home. We were lucky that we qualified for IVF on the NHS so it would be free. We got back from holiday and went to sign all our consent forms. We had an appointment for the end of May to learn how to do the injections and when my period arrived at the end of May I was to start taking the pill as my down regulation.

My husband was scheduled to go to SA that May and was due to be away from ovulation to period. By that period I was just so over being infertile. I wasn’t temping as often because after 2.5 years I knew my cycle so well. We had been using preseed for ages and we had agreed that once we started IVF we would stop drinking and caffiene – we didn’t need to, we just felt we should. The doctors had given us a prenatal called proxeed which we had been taking in advance ready for IVF.

The day hubby went to SA we DTD then I had 2 weeks at home thinking there was no way I could get pregnant that month. and just waited for my period to arrive to start our IVF cycle. Half way through his trip I had a Eurovision party and got sooooooo drunk!

On the last day of his trip, my period hadn’t arrived….. I thought why not, take a test…. 2 lines showed up! I was pregnant! Finally!

That pregnancy is now nearly 2 and a wonderful little boy. I really hate to say it, because it is the WORST advice to give to someone facing infertility, but I think the fact we chilled out and were focused on IVF is what did it for us.

I hope you get your BFP soon.

Post # 20
11 posts
  • Wedding: March 2019

Lol I’m glad to hear you got a chance to enjoy yourself! It takes a special kind of strength to be a woman, but you are definitely not alone when you feel weak!! Good luck in your pregnancy journey. 🙂

Post # 21
2065 posts
Buzzing bee

Are you continuing to bd after cd 9/10?  Ovulating so early and having a 20 day luteal phase would be pretty unusual.  The predictor kit may be steering you wrong.  You may have an early hormone surge.  

Post # 22
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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skylar84 :  “I felt like temping confirms ovulation after it happened – and the digital test gives you a two day warning ahead of time.”

This is accurate. The reason temping is helpful in conjunction with OPKs is because it confirms that you DID in fact ovulate when your OPKs predicted you would. That means you can stop the BD-fest. If you are only using OPKs and not temping, you can’t be sure you actually ovulated after your OPK turned positive. It’s actually not uncommon to have a “false” LH surge, where you have positive a OPK but don’t ovulate. Since your OPKs turn positive so early in your cycle, it’s possible this is a false surge and your real surge is happening later, but you’re missing it. 

Post # 23
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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skylar84 :  I agree with 
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Scarlett11 :  and that is why I asked about temping to confirm O, because Oing on CD9 or 10 is very early. The “standard” luteal phase after O is about 14 days. With a 30 day cycle, minus 14 days for LP, that puts your O at CD16. So if you thought you already O’d and stopped BDing you have been vastly missing your fertile week. I only used the Wondfo OPK strips off amazon so don’t have experience with the kit you are using, but I feel like it might be steering you wrong for O day. I also recommend temping to confirm when you actually O to help you better plan for future cycles.

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