(Closed) after bridal shower, no need to give another gift for the actual wedding?

posted 12 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve always understood a shower gift to be separate from a wedding gift.  I think most people do both.

Post # 5
3579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Most people do both!

I think your BMs may not as they have spent a lot of money on your wedding and maybe that was what they were eluding too?

Post # 6
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have always given separate gifts, but I would totally understand not getting a wedding gift if someone had already given me a shower gift. Especially if I knew the person was strapped for cash, or if they gave me a really nice shower present.

Post # 7
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’ve always given a gift at both… I’m not really sure what etiquette is here though..

Post # 8
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’ve given out both shower and wedding gifts…

Post # 9
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I have always given both as well. Hmm, I’m not sure about the proper etiqutte. Like a PP said,  I could understand not giving a wedding gift if people are strapped for cash or gave a really nice shower gift. I wonder what Miss Manners would say?

Post # 10
89 posts
Worker bee

What your BM’s said is untrue!!! Not only that .. but people who couldn’t attend my sister’s shower still sent her a gift and came to the wedding with a seperate gift. Some people are more thoughtful than others I suppose.

Post # 11
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have never heard of that, I always give gifts for both!!

Post # 12
1354 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’ve always given both, but I think it would be acceptable to only gift once if the shower gift was rather generous. Maybe that is what they are thinking? Because I’ve always given less expensive things at showers, then more expensive wedding presents. If I was just dying to buy someone a KitchenAid mixer, though, I might just give the one shower gift and bring a beautiful card to the wedding.

EDIT: another idea is that it could be really convenient for a destination wedding to just gift generously at the shower. But you would usually just ship the wedding gift directly to the home of the bride then, right?

Post # 14
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If someone gives a shower gift, they usually don’t give a wedding gift as well unless they have a ton of money to spend. However, if you want to give two gifts, that’s fine but definitely not required, nor is it common to do so.

Post # 15
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Kindred Oaks, Georgetown

I’ve always understood the shower to be when the bride gets gifts just for her, i.e. lingerie, spa stuff, etc. I know some people just buy something off the registry but that’s usually used for the wedding gift. I always give two separate gifts.

Post # 16
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013



I’m sure the last part of your comment wasn’t meant to come off harsh, however, it did.  I am one of those that usually only buys a gift for the shower only, or if I am not invited to the shower, then the wedding only.  I would not say it is because I am less thoughtful than others.  I can only afford so much.  I set a budget for someone’s gift and tend to stick with it.

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