Post # 1
My BM’s are planning to throw a bridal shower for me (YEY!!!). They said that the people who will attend the shower should not give a wedding gift anymore. Forgive my ignorance but is this true? I’ve always given a second gift (the wedding gift) aside from the shower gift so I am kinda perplexed. And if that’s the case (one gift only), I think that would suck because my Fiance would not be there to open the gifts with me.
Any thoughts, bees?
Post # 3
I’ve always understood a shower gift to be separate from a wedding gift. I think most people do both.
Post # 5
Most people do both!
I think your BMs may not as they have spent a lot of money on your wedding and maybe that was what they were eluding too?
Post # 6
I have always given separate gifts, but I would totally understand not getting a wedding gift if someone had already given me a shower gift. Especially if I knew the person was strapped for cash, or if they gave me a really nice shower present.
Post # 7
I’ve always given a gift at both… I’m not really sure what etiquette is here though..
Post # 8
I’ve given out both shower and wedding gifts…
Post # 9
I have always given both as well. Hmm, I’m not sure about the proper etiqutte. Like a PP said, I could understand not giving a wedding gift if people are strapped for cash or gave a really nice shower gift. I wonder what Miss Manners would say?
Post # 10
What your BM’s said is untrue!!! Not only that .. but people who couldn’t attend my sister’s shower still sent her a gift and came to the wedding with a seperate gift. Some people are more thoughtful than others I suppose.
Post # 11
I have never heard of that, I always give gifts for both!!
Post # 12
I’ve always given both, but I think it would be acceptable to only gift once if the shower gift was rather generous. Maybe that is what they are thinking? Because I’ve always given less expensive things at showers, then more expensive wedding presents. If I was just dying to buy someone a KitchenAid mixer, though, I might just give the one shower gift and bring a beautiful card to the wedding.
EDIT: another idea is that it could be really convenient for a destination wedding to just gift generously at the shower. But you would usually just ship the wedding gift directly to the home of the bride then, right?
Post # 14
If someone gives a shower gift, they usually don’t give a wedding gift as well unless they have a ton of money to spend. However, if you want to give two gifts, that’s fine but definitely not required, nor is it common to do so.
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2010 - Kindred Oaks, Georgetown
I’ve always understood the shower to be when the bride gets gifts just for her, i.e. lingerie, spa stuff, etc. I know some people just buy something off the registry but that’s usually used for the wedding gift. I always give two separate gifts.
Post # 16
I’m sure the last part of your comment wasn’t meant to come off harsh, however, it did. I am one of those that usually only buys a gift for the shower only, or if I am not invited to the shower, then the wedding only. I would not say it is because I am less thoughtful than others. I can only afford so much. I set a budget for someone’s gift and tend to stick with it.