(Closed) After lurking, decided to join the “waiting” boards! :) (long post…)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hi! I am not engaged yet either but just want to tell you that if you know he is serious about it (the fact that HE picked a potential date sort of seems like he is), I would tell him it might be a good idea to look at venues because Memorial Day weekend will book up FAST. I know, because I have been calling venues for Memorial Day weekend 2013, and the most popular places were already booked!!! We did eventually find a place that we loved and that was available on that Sunday of memorial day weekend and we ended up booking it a couple of weeks ago (although my circumstances are different, we have been together over 3 years and he already has the ring- but I am 26 and he is 27, so similar in age). I would just mention it to him and gage his response, than go from there.


Post # 4
598 posts
Busy bee

I am sorry you are getting frustrated. IMO 15 months isn’t really that long, though. I hope you get your proposal soon, and I know that watching friends move on with their lives is hard. It will be worth the wait, though, I can tell you that much.

Post # 5
198 posts
Blushing bee

@stace0616:  I’m in exactly the same situation that you are. I am waiting on FINDING a Mr. Right….or more, for him to find ME. But I hate the waiting….it’s really not fun especially when everyone and their mother is getting married, TTC, having babies or whatever. It’s like….when is it MY turn??


Post # 6
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Waiting is hard, but you have to find a way to be patient so it doesn’t drive you (or your SO) crazy. I know it sucks when it seems that everyone and their sister are getting engaged/married, but just try to remember that your time will come and it will be fabulous.

I wonder if he is waiting to get back on his feet a bit more. You mentioned unemployment for the two of you and maybe he is just waiting to feel more stable financially. Getting engaged/married is a huge step and even if you are considering eloping or a small ceremony, there are still costs involved.

But I do think that you need to have a convo with him. Maybe he doesn’t realize that you want a ceremony & reception, as opposed to eloping, and that you will need to book this event well in advance. Maybe he doesn’t know that him calling you his fiancee, without the formality of a proposal, is not what you had envisioned. I think that we tend to forget that men are not mind-readers and they certainly did not grow up envisioning their weddings the way that we have. Just be positive and calm and talk to him when you are both relaxed.

And welcome to the hive!

Post # 7
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BelleFille:  I agree 100%. Often I think we forget that we have to verbalize how we feel instead of our guys trying to read our minds! 

I feel like a good honest conversation is in order. Let him know that you feel this way! However, one thing you said caught my attention. And I’m probably taking it at face value, but you say “I feel like our engagement would help smooth out some of the rough patches.” To me, as an outsider, I feel like an engagement is more about wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone, not something to make the bad seem less bad. Again, I’m not trying to be rude; I’m sure you want to spend the rest of you life with this guy, just make sure that’s why you want to get engaged! 

Waiting can be so difficult sometimes especially if you have no idea what his plans are. Have the conversation, get on the same page and move on! Mr. Bee’s Plan has some great suggestions if you want to read it. 

Hang in there!

Post # 8
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Correction – I feel like your statement about an engagement smoothing over the rough patches was more meant like you could use some exciting and wonderful news after all the bad. I could just see someone taking that phase to mean something else. 

Post # 9
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Let me disagree with some previous posters.  What you have found is extraordinary- I have many friends into their mid30s still looking for that.  15 months is so not long, you are still quite young.  I think you should engage welling on the wedding and focus your energy on getting everything you can out of this great relationshipnyou have!! You wil, never have a boyfriend again,enjoy it.  From everything your bf is saying, it wont be long.  Based oN what you wrote, I think you would be happiest to not ruin this time by making is stressfuk for you or him.  


Stop “waiting” 

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