(Closed) After reading all of the infertility threads… this makes me mad!!!

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@poppyseeds: I don’t know how I feel about it. On one hand, I believe women should explore all options if they want their own children and need help having them. On the other hand, it doesn’t seem right to terminate the children you purposefully implanted. But then again, I wouldn’t want 6 children at once either!

I just couldn’t say.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im a walk a mile in someone elses shoes before you judge when it comes to these situations.  i have no idea of her medical situation, maybe it was a choose one or have none situation and i doubt she spent the preceeding or following days going woohooo i lost one of my babies

Post # 6
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can’t judge anyone, we all have different world views and values.   It’s sad, but she did what was right for her.  I can’t bring myself to want to attack what she ultimately decided for herself.

Post # 8
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

There was a similar story somewhere else, maybe it was this woman – but it went on how they tried for a couple years to get pregnant, and became pregnant with twins. The husband absolutely did not want twins. The wife was ambivalent. So she went ahead and reduced the pregnancy.

To me it was horrifying to read – it wasn’t like she was 50 and pregnant with 7 kids. It ws twins, they had no other kids, mid-30s, solid jobs. It was purely for selfish reasons.

When Darling Husband and I had to do pre-wedding stuff for his church (Catholic), they talked about how wrong IVF and all that stuff was because people then think of the child as something they ‘bought’ or disposable. It was a little ridiculous to me, but I can definitely see the point in this story (yes people who naturally get pregnant with twins can choose to reduce, but without fertility treatments, the couple would have been highly unlikely to get pregnant).

I just can’t see how going through all the heartache and difficulties of infertility you could decide, eh, let’s get rid of one. If you choose IVF or other treatments with the possibility of multiples, than you should be prepared (within reason) to handle that.

 

Post # 9
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@poppyseeds: Its very possible that her health, and the viability of th ebabies is at risk by carrying twins.  At an advanced age and with difficulty concieving, I would guess that she’s suffered through at least 1 miscarriage, and her doctors probably advised her that carrying 1 child is much more likely to lead to a positive outcome that carrying 2 children. 

If my doctor advised me to do something like that, i wouldn’t hesitate, especially if i’d been struggling with infertility.

Post # 10
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m disgusted.

Post # 12
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have a cousin who did IVF many times, the first time, she became pregnant with triplets, was conselled to reduce to 1 or 2, and refused, she went on to miscarry all 3 babies, and she wished she would have taken the advise to reduce, so for her other 4 IVF attempts, she reduced to 1 fetus with each successful round (the other 4 times were 1 failed attempt, another triplet implantation, and 2 twin implantation). She ended up with 3 happy and healthy little boys, and is completely secure with her choice to reduce.

I am not sure how I would approach the situation if it were me, we are TTC, and have been for 13 months, we are currently waiting for an appointment with a fertility specialist. I would likely not reduce twins, BUT if I were to conceive triplets, I would have a hard decision ahead of me. I am an NICU nurse, so I know all too well the potential for complications that arise from multiple gestation.

Post # 14
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Um…okay i just read the article in its entirety…and i would say my point of view has changed.  It doesn’t sound like it was medically necessary to reduce.  I agree that this woman sounds selfish. 

Post # 15
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

This thread has large potential of blowing up just as an abortion thread does.

But who are we to judge this woman. Even if there is no medical reason, perhaps she didn’t want to carry twins? Perhaps her family didn’t have the room or finances for twins?  I mean that are a ton of reasons.

Mind you, I’m pro choice, so it stands to reason I think it is the woman and her family choice and shouldn’t be judged.

Post # 16
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

well i dont agree with using abortion as a form of birth control but im still hesitate to judge – its such a personal and private thing. i can only imagine she isnt the only one who has done this but one of the very few that is prepared to talk about it openly

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