(Closed) After receiving the STD they RSVP’d no…still have to send them an invite?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If a guest RSVPs NO after receiving STD do you still have to send an actual invite?
    Yes. It is bad etiquette to send an STD and not follow-up with an invite : (44 votes)
    45 %
    No. Why waste the stamp when they've already told you no? : (54 votes)
    55 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    14495 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Yeah, etiquette says you do and you prob should as you never know things can change. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5475 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @VegasSukie: Yep.  Send an invitation because Etiquette rules say so.  People generally do not RSVP to a STD, they will get an opportunity to RSVP to your invitaiton.

    Post # 7
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I would think that because they already RSVP’d no – sending an invite would be weird. Just thinking of it from the invitees end: If I received a STD and RSVP’d no but then got an invite after that I would think that the bride and groom either didn’t receive my RSVP or ignored it completely. Don’t waste your money!

    Of course if they invitee didn’t reply at all to the STD – absolutely send the formal invite!

    Post # 8
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Did they think the STD was the invite? Why did they RSVP to the STD because that usually isnt the case.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @AllRosesandSunshine: I see your point, but people don’t and aren’t suppose to RSVP to Save-The-Date Cards. An STD is not an invitation.

    @OP: Just judge it by how well you know the person. Yes it’s etiquette to send an invite still, but if I was close to you and told you I couldn’t go; I would not want you to waste your money on me.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think the etiquette rule of sending an invite for every STD assumes that people won’t RSVP to Save-The-Date Cards because they normally don’t. But I don’t see any purpose in sending an invite to someone who already told you they won’t be able to make it. I just can’t see anyone saying “She is so rude, she didn’t send an invite after I told her I wasn’t coming.”

    Post # 11
    Member
    878 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I don’t think anyone would be offended if you didn’t send an invite after they said no even though proper etiquette says you should. The frugal side of me votes “no” and save money- weddings are expensive enough.

    Post # 12
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    @MissGreen: I was pointing out the fact that someone did in fact reply to a STD. And if they did – why send an invite when you already know their answer.

    Post # 13
    Member
    310 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I wouldn’t waste the postage. One of my friends who was actually supposed to be my photographer for my wedding, told me that he wouldn’t be able to make it because he was going to another wedding on the same day. I don’t plan on sending him a save the date or anything else related to the wedding. The same would apply if I had sent out save the dates and someone told me that they wouldn’t be able to make it. I wouldn’t bother sending a formal invitation, just to get a ‘NO’ back in the mail. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I wouldn’t send it because I wouldn’t want to seem gift grabby.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I didn’t even think of it as being seen as gift graby but yeah now that pp mentions it, it would seem IF you did send an invite it would only be to have them send a gift…but personally I do not see the point in sending an invite if they saw the date and let you know they wouldn’t be able to make it…but I really don’t get ettiquite. If that is what ettiquite says I guess you should follow it…

    Post # 16
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    ^ Etiquette schmetiquite, I say! Go with what makes sense.

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