(Closed) After seeing how expensive weddings are, wld u save for your daughter?

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

No, I would not.  I will gladly put money aside for schooling.  In my opinion, when a couple of adults decide to get married, paying for a wedding is their adult responsibility.  When the time came, we would give a gift that could be used toward paying for a wedding, but I would not pay for the entire affair.

Post # 4
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

My plan is very, very similar to your DH’s.  When they’re born, I want to open a savings account for each one.  We will request that instead of gifts on Christmas and birthdays, from family members, they contribute to the child’s savings account instead.  We will also contribute an amount to each account every month, too. 

My dad had a lot of stocks and bonds set up to pay for my college/first car/wedding.  He got really bad into drugs and spent all of that on himself.  I never saw a cent of the money, after years of him promising it to me and ensuring everything would be taken care of. 

So, I definitely plan to make sure my kids are taken care of… and if my son (if I have one) gets married, we will also have money saved to contribute to his wedding, as well.  I don’t feel that only the bride’s family should be responsible.

Post # 5
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I had enough money to put away from school, and money left over, i would put it into a savings account for a future wedding.  However, I would not tell her that.

Post # 6
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@Tswife4ever: I would definitely consider saving money for college and wedding early on, as my parents weren’t able to help with either. 

Post # 7
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@Tswife4ever: No, I would not save for my child’s wedding. I will likely send my child to private school, help with the undergrad college education and expenses if the grades/major are acceptable. Its not about the money to me, its about accountability. I will give my child all the tools I can for them to be successful in life, then he/she will be cut off and pushed out of the nest. If you are old enough to get married you are old enough to pay your own bills. I may pay for the wedding dress or the honeymoon and thats it.

Post # 8
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think I would if I could/had the resources, but in a specific order like my parents. My mom and dad saved up for an education fund for my sister and I first, then they both set aside a set amount to help us buy a car out of school and finally set aside a set amount as an “engagement gift”. The money isn’t a wedding fund, per se, but can be used for anything. My Fiance and I will likely spend half or so on our wedding, but a large portion will go to a downpayment on a house.

Post # 9
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Yes, I would. I grew up fairly traditionally. My parents are paying for the wedding, because they see it as their responsibility. I’m helping because I want their money to go as far as it can. I will put most of my saving effort into schooling, of course, but I would like to put a little extra into my own account with the purpose of being able to at least pay for a small, simple wedding for her. No, I won’t tell her about it, but I will not expect her to pay for it all on her own, and will *not* expect her fiance or his family to contribute (my Future Mother-In-Law is contributing a little, but she volunteered, and we very gratefully accepted), and she will probably grow up knowing that. It’s just how I was raised, and I like to keep to tradition.

The money would be a gift, so if it doesn’t get used for the wedding (she elopes or wants to pay on her own), they will get some to help with their house or to buy some furniture.

Post # 10
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

No way, mostly because I’ll probably never afford to- and I know I had to pay for my wedding on my own. On the same token, I may not totally save for their schooling because I had to pay for college on my own as well, and it gave me ownership of my own life decisions. However, I hope that I will at least contribute to my daughter’s wedding- I just don’t want to set aside a special fund for it…

Post # 11
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t know yet, but I can imagine us setting up a savings for our child to use for education, a down payment on a home, or a wedding. Just a nice little nest egg they could use if need be. Not everyone wants to get married, and not everyone wants to go to college.

Post # 12
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No, we are paying for it ourselves with no problem, its not important to me to fund their party 🙂

(Not having kids but if I were)

Post # 13
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

A year or so ago I would have said no. But now that things have changed, and the future is so uncertain, honestly nothing would give me greater joy than to see my daughter grow up, fall in love, get married and have children of her own. I hope and pray every day that she will have a happy life and maybe someday a family of her own. So yes. If she ever gets married I will throw her the biggest party I can possibly afford.

 

Post # 14
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Definitely.  My parents saw it as their responsibility to put me through private school, college and pay for my wedding.  I consider it a responsibility to do the same for my children.  If I decide to bring a child in to this world, it’s my responsibility to ensure that he or she has the best education and I want to host a celebration in honor of his or her transition in to starting a family of his or her own. 

Post # 15
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No.

I would save for their post-secondary education if I ever had a child (not in the plans, however), because that is a necessity.

An elaborate wedding, however, is not a necessity (impo).

Post # 16
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We have three boys, so this would be a non-issue for us but after our wedding debacle, Darling Husband and I have talked alot about this.  We have college covered for the two that will go and we have decided that we will offer each of them a set amount and they may do with it what they chose.  Of course that would be seperate from covering the cost of the rehersal dinner, and that would also have spending limits on it.

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