Post # 1
I am hoping to hear from anyone who has issued an ultimatum, left, and then taken him back.
It has been over a year since I left. It wasn’t really a full on ultimatum. I had told him years before that five years was my limit, and I think it was around 4 1/2 years together that my gut was telling me it was a dead-end. We remained very good friends, and we have grown closer than ever. He has changed so much-he is almost a completely different person.
So, we find ourselves in an almost-relationship. I would probably say we are dating. I really don’t know how it happened. We were very close friends, and I guess it just progressed.
He has told me what an eye-opener this past year was, and considering the complete change in his behavior, I believe him.
I also feel like I should make this clear: it is NOT lonliness. During the time we were apart, I did see other men, some more steadily than others. I have never had a problem finding suitors, so lack of a warm body is not the issue.
Would it be foolish to let myself get involved with him, again? Has anyone taken a partner back after this with positive results? Am I just setting myself up to get hurt?
Post # 3
I think that before you consider re-entering into a relationship with him, that you two need to sit down and have a serious conversation about the reason that you broke it off to begin with.
If it was lack of proposal, you have to determine whether or not he has changed in that regard. If not, you will be wasting your time. You know him best, so you will be able to figure out if he’s ready now.
Good luck to you!
Post # 4
The reason you left him is still there, so I guess before you solidify anything you do need to have a frank chat with him about your expectations for your future and make sure you are on the same page.
That said, trust your instinct. If you feel he has changed for the better, why not?
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
You need to talk to him about why you left– has that issue(s) changed? Then you’ll have your answer.
Post # 6
I’ve never been in that situation but Handsome’s best friend and his girl had been dating for seven years when she gave him an ultimatum. She pushed getting married and he wasn’t budging on it so she left him. His best friend did ok for a while. There were times where he would break down and cry. He dated once during there break. Then after 6 months she realized that there was no else out there more for her then him. They got back together moved in with eachother three months later then two years after they moved in they got married.
They’ve been married for two years now, still going strong.