(Closed) After the wedding- Best Friend divorce

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

As upsetting as it is, I think weddings tend to bring out the true colors in people.  I had a bridesmaid that ended up not being the friend I thought she was.  This woman sounds like she is not worthy of your time and energy.  I am sorry you lost a friend, but now you can gain a better one!

ETA: I would write her off.  No “friend” would talk badly about your husband.  She does not sound like a nice person.

Post # 4
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sounds like she clearly has some issues of her own she’s going through right now. Keep your distance.

Post # 5
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I agree with PP’s.. she seems to be going through things herself, and to be honest I wouldn’t want a person like that in my life. She seems very manipulative and negative. You’re better off without her!

Post # 6
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mrsjones2b:  I would not be friends with her anymore. It’s bad enough she took from the wedding those wine bottles but to be talking trash about you? I do not always approve of my friend’s behavior but I would never trash talk them.

Also having others tell you to not trust her is a red flag. Obviously she has done bad things before to other people.

She has too many negatives stacked against her. For the sake of your sanity I would stop talking to her. You don’t know what drama she will bring to your new marriage.

Post # 7
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m sorry to hear that- I know it must have been heart-wrenching for you. For me, it’s more like some of my closest gal pals went MIA ever since I relocated and could not even respond with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘congrats’ when I texted them to save the date to my wedding. To think that we’ve been hanging out together for the last decade. 

I felt that if she’s your best friend, she would try to understand your circumstances and be happy for you. As we engaged and get married, we enter into the next phase in life. It seems to me that she’s doing everything she can to get back your attention and company. She probably is feeling left-out of your life and finding ways to get you back, such as by introducing new guys to you even when you are engaged. It’s like feeding a child chocolates everyday and all of a sudden, no more chocolates. I would say that she values you as her friend (and you might be the only friend she has) but could be putting her needs/desires above yours. 

There seems to be some miscommunication too as she thinks you have a controlling spouse but in fact, you were the one stopping the activities you had with her prior to the wedding. You probably should have a heart-to- heart talk with her and tell her how much you’ve appreciated her as your best friend, about your mum’s ailment and how you could still try to make time for her whenever you can. Also tell her what she has done that you didnt like-I feel she has to know else you’ll always be keeping these negative memories in your heart (I believe we can tell our best friends almost anything and everything) If she’s truly your best friend, she will try to understand, make compromises and peace with you. Otherwise, it would be wiser to just move on. Good luck!

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