after waiting for a proposal for 11 years, time to walk?

posted 2 months ago in Proposals
Post # 16
Member
687 posts
Busy bee

I do not mean to be harsh, but why would you even consider this. Your family is right. 

Post # 17
Member
12108 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

You can either dump the jerk, or on the off chance you’re unlucky and he actually follows through, be married to him for life. 

Post # 18
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

You call him your “ex boyfriend” in the first sentence of your post . . .

Post # 19
Member
433 posts
Helper bee

“after waiting for a proposal for 11 years, time to walk?”

Yes.

Post # 20
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

It was time to walk years ago. Don’t waste another minute. He will likely do stuff like this to you for the rest of your life if you stick around. 

Post # 21
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Just like so many have already said, you are worth so much more than what he has given you. You deserve someone who desperately wants to marry you and cherish you. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to leave someone you have been with that long, especially through something as traumatic as cancer, but I really think you’ll be MUCH better off in the long run. Good luck to you!

Post # 22
Member
508 posts
Busy bee

Girl, you beat freaking cancer! That alone is amazing. You don’t need this bonehead. Dump. Walk away. Be strong. Take some time for you- then get back out there and find your prince. You’ve kissed this frog too long and too many times.

Post # 23
Member
8832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

curious2019 :  Congrats on kicking cancer! Depending on your situation, it’s very possible that he faced losing you to something that was outside of his control. He lucked out and you are still with him. And now he is willing to lose you due to something that is entirely within his control. I am not at all saying “he should propose because cancer” — that would be ridiculous. I’m saying he knows what it feels like to consider having to go through life without you, yet that has not inspired him to do what HE can do to keep you with him.

If I drop a diamond on the sidewalk and am lucky enough to find it still there 3 hours later, am I going to say “cool, I’m just going to leave it right there”? No. I’m going to snatch it up, tuck it into my wallet and snap the wallet shut, stash that in my purse, zip my purse and carry it safely under my arm until we’re home and I can take even more steps to minimize the risk of losing it again. You’re a treasure that he almost lost, and if he’s willing to just leave you there where anyone else can pick you up, then he doesn’t deserve the second chance he was given. You DO deserve it, make the most of it.

Post # 25
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

curious2019 :  You sound pretty emotionalaly healthy and willing to take a hard look at yourself. But if you read what you’ve typed it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind he’s not the right person for yu to be with, and he’s not what you need in a partner. 

 

I don’t think I am in love with him anymore though I am still attached to him in a weird way.  He was a very accepting, kind, caring partner on a day to day basis – however, he did not seem to care about my big life priorities […] 

I also told him my feelings for him have changed and that I don’t love or respect him the way I once did.

I think I stuck around for so long because of a) some emotional dependency on him after my illness, b) fear of not ever finding anyone else and c) wanting to make us work after all we have been through. However, my family now hates him (he hasn’t spoken with them in years since he last lied about proposing) and I can’t look at him the same way.

Post # 26
Member
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Do not give this man anymore of your life, he has taken more than he should have. If you want children just remember you can do it even without a partner, do not let him deprive you of what little time life has to offer. As you know tomorrow is never guaranteed and its not worth wasting it on him anymore. 

Post # 28
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Time is precious don’t waste it on someone who clearly doesn’t give a dam about u 

Post # 29
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

curious2019 :  glad to hear you took the onslaught of messages as supportive, and glad to eead you’re feeling so positive about getting on with your life —  You go, girl!

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