(Closed) After we got engaged, a friend stopped hanging out with us…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

hmm…. i think Fred is in love with you… why would he want to out-do your Fi is he wasnt?

 

just a thought, i might be wrong

Post # 5
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@Anamagana:  +1. This is a sign of him being hurt, and him realising that his feelings aren’t reciprocated. OR, he might be feeling like a spare wheel. When Fiance and I first started dating my best male friend got really upset because he was single and everyone else in our circle of friends were in relationships. 

Let Fred deal with these emotions by himself. He might come around, or he might just end up drifting off. 

 

Post # 6
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Fred is in love with you, obviously, and is just now realizing he doesn’t have a chance. Let it go.

Post # 7
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@LadyMoriarty:  well… there you have it… maybe you should talk to him and ask him how he feels?

Maybe if he confesses his feelings he’ll be able to heal and get better… or maybe it could get worse… i really dont know what advice give you.

I guess i’d just let him be.

Post # 8
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My first reaction was also that Fred is in love with you. Talk about awkward. And what a child for trying to compete with your Fiance like some immature teenager.

Post # 9
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This reminds me of Love Actually, the Kiera Knightly plot.  Don’t let Fred photograph the wedding.  Sorry for the joke, but I have to agree with PP that he has a thing for you and is having some difficulty realizing you are now officially officially off the market.

Post # 10
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@LadyMoriarty:  People get weird. I think everyone can think of one friend or acquaintance etc. that started acting strange at some point. I agree Fred could be in love with you.

It sounds like it isn’t that big of a loss, though. I typically like to be friends with people who have similar values. If he’s flaky, in massive debt due to dumb spending etc. then that’s not really someone I’d want to be spending massive amounts of time with.

Post # 11
Member
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Sounds like Fred has feelings for you. It’s very common in opposite-sex friendships. All you can do is give him time and space.

Post # 12
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I’ve noticed that friendships change with each life stage – getting a serious boyfriend, getting engaged, getting married, and having kids. The friendships either evolve or are lost. A lot of complex emotions go on, i.e. the nature of the relationship changes and jealousy ensues, but hopefully a good heart to heart can help the situation.

When our priorities changed, we lost a ton of friends. We are so busy though that we don’t care to spend time on drama!

Post # 13
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

As others have said, Fred may like you. It’s also possible that with you two getting engaged it’s made him realise that he’s actually kind of lonely? I mean, he is very much a fith wheel in your group (not that I think you’ve done anything to make him feel this).

Post # 14
Member
680 posts
Busy bee

@LadyMoriarty:  Is it possible that Fred feels left out since the other 4 of you are coupled up? It does sound odd the way he is behaving tho. I agree with PP, sounds like he likes you as more than a friend. 

Post # 16
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think Fred feels kind of like the odd man out OR he likes you, especially if he is trying to outdo your Fiance at everything.

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