Post # 1
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
For a woman keeping her maiden name, who hates the term “Ms”, what is the correct way to introduce myself and do my address labels, after I’m married?
- For example, if my name is Elizabeth White. Currently I refer to myself as Miss White.
- My address labels say Miss E. White, 123 Main Street, et cet.
- I am marrying David Smith, and not taking his name. Not going to hyphenate either.
After the wedding, am I Mrs. White? Or am I still Miss White, since I’m keeping my name?
I’m confused.
Post # 2
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
I believe you would be Mrs.
Mrs. = a married woman (or woman who was married and her husband died)
Ms. = a divorced woman
Miss = a single woman who has never been married
Post # 3
Member
28 posts
Newbee
Since you are keeping your name you won’t be Mrs. I am keeping my name as well. I will forever be a Ms. The above post is incorrect. Ms. does not mean divorced – it means you are either married OR single. Mrs. is if you took your husband’s name. And Miss is for a single woman. You will become Ms. White in your example.
Post # 4
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
Post # 5
Member
3492 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
If you’re keeping your name after getting married, you’d be Ms. Maiden Name.
Post # 6
Member
3290 posts
Sugar bee
patchm Ms makes zero reference to ones marital status
Post # 7
Member
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
Call yourself whatever you’d like. I simply use my first & last name in correspondence. Titles seem antiquated to me.
Post # 8
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
Some disagreement, so I remain confused.
I will never refer to myself as “Ms”.
Post # 9
Member
2904 posts
Sugar bee
samael : I hate Ms as well. To me is sounds like it’s missing a vowel. No issue with what it can mean, it just sounds super wrong to me.
i use Mrs but I also took my husband’s name.
I used to work with a woman who didn’t use a title either. She didn’t like Miss or Ms and wasn’t married.
Post # 10
Member
3492 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Technically (or maybe just historically) Mrs. indicates “the wife of” so calling yourself Mrs. Maiden Name would be indicating that you are the wife of Maiden Name. Which you’re not as you didn’t marry yourself. That’s why they say Mr. And Mrs. John Smith.
But at the end of the day, nobody actually cares what you call yourself. If you wanna be Mrs. Maiden, have at it.
Post # 11
Member
9806 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Do whatever you want. Seriously, nobody cares. I don’t know a single person who even uses those titles anymore.
Post # 12
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
Mrs. is used by married women who takes her husband’s last name.
Miss is used by unmarried women.
Ms. can be used by anyone, married or unmarried, with their own name or their husbands. It is the female equivalent of Mr. which also does not denote marital status.
Since the cases for Mrs. and Miss do not apply to you, by default you are left with Ms.
But frankly, you can call yourself whatever you want, so if you want to use Mrs. with your maiden name, no one is going to stop you.
Post # 13
Member
6847 posts
Busy Beekeeper
patchm : 1) If you read the post you linked you’ll see that “Ms.” is almost universally used as the female version of “Mr.” today and does not designate a divorcée. 2) Mumsnet isn’t exactly Emily Post. A quick google search would provide you with more reliable answers.
OP: Even if it’s not entirely kosher will anyone really care if you opt for “Mrs.”? Though be prepared for assumptions to be made–people may reasonably refer to your husband as Mr. YourLastName if they don’t know.
Post # 15
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
I don’t know anyone under 50 who uses the titles at all anymore.
Member