Post # 1
Hi Bees. This is my first post on here, but it is a very important one. My fiance and I are having a small wedding, which we are personally paying for ourselves. My future mother in law wants to throw a party AFTER the wedding, and invite people who we are not able to invite to the wedding, ie distant relatives. Is this okay to do? I think it is a terrible idea, and kind of rude. Please give me your feedback!
Post # 3
It would be ok to have a get-together but only if it’s not explicitly about the wedding.
We had a get-together for my MIL’s neighbors after our wedding. Our wedding was too small to invite them all, but (a) they had watched my husband grow up and (b) many of them were VERY supportive of my Mother-In-Law when she became a widow. My husband’s father died about a year before our wedding. So the gathering was really a “thanks for being such great neighbors” event. My husband did a ton of cooking and it was nice to see everyone. Hopefully it didn’t seem like too much of a b-list event.
Post # 4
I think that’s fine! My friends are having a destination wedding this June and having a big party at their place when they come back for everyone who didn’t go.
Post # 5
I think its fine, as long as ‘after the wedding’ doesn’t mean the same day & isn’t some big formal affair.
Post # 6
@jbandura: how much after? I don’t think that is much different then doing a smaller ceremony and then inviting a lot of people to the reception?
Post # 7
our wedding will be about 100 guests. The party will be a few weeks after the wedding and probably 20-30 ppl.
Post # 8
@jbandura: Hm, given the scale of the wedding, that does kind of seem like a “B-list” event. The reverse would seem less so.
Post # 9
Seeing that you are already having 100 people at your wedding I’d be offended if I was only invited to the after party. I think it’s only ok if you are having a really small wedding.
Post # 10
I think it’s totally fine. I don’t see how it could be offensive or rude at all!
Post # 11
@jbandura: that’s what we’re doing. I had a very small wedding 2 months ago (parents and best friends only) and I’m having a big reception for the rest of the family in June. What exactly do you think is rude about it?
Post # 12
I just feel like its a slap in the face. Like oh you weren’t good enough to be invited to the wedding but here come to my house, and give me a gift
Post # 13
I think that’s super weird if they want to do it same day. A separate celebration not associated to your wedding, sure. It is a slap in the face, to me, if she wants to do it same day.
Post # 14
@jbandura: +1 depending on how it’s presented. An after party is a great idea, but an after party where people who didn’t make the first cut are invited as tier 2 guests is a little offputting.
Post # 15
@jbandura: I agree with you and posters who say it would be a little off-putting. I would be disappointed to be invited to an “after party” but not to the wedding itself. Maybe you could suggest to her that she can make it more of a backyard BBQ/family reunion or something and make it less wedding-related and just a friendly get-together?