(Closed) After Wedding Party – Okay or no?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It would be ok to have a get-together but only if it’s not explicitly about the wedding.

We had a get-together for my MIL’s neighbors after our wedding.  Our wedding was too small to invite them all, but (a) they had watched my husband grow up and (b) many of them were VERY supportive of my Mother-In-Law when she became a widow.  My husband’s father died about a year before our wedding.  So the gathering was really a “thanks for being such great neighbors” event.  My husband did a ton of cooking and it was nice to see everyone.  Hopefully it didn’t seem like too much of a b-list event.

Post # 4
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@jbandura

I think that’s fine! My friends are having a destination wedding this June and having a big party at their place when they come back for everyone who didn’t go.

Post # 5
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think its fine, as long as ‘after the wedding’ doesn’t mean the same day & isn’t some big formal affair.

Post # 6
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@jbandura:  how much after? I don’t think that is much different then doing a smaller ceremony and then inviting a lot of people to the reception?

Post # 8
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@jbandura:  Hm, given the scale of the wedding, that does kind of seem like a “B-list” event. The reverse would seem less so.

Post # 9
Member
2952 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

Seeing that you are already having 100 people at your wedding I’d be offended if I was only invited to the after party. I think it’s only ok if you are having a really small wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think it’s totally fine. I don’t see how it could be offensive or rude at all! 

Post # 11
Member
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@jbandura:  that’s what we’re doing. I had a very small wedding 2 months ago (parents and best friends only) and I’m having a big reception for the rest of the family in June. What exactly do you think is rude about it?

Post # 13
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@CityBearBride:  +1

I think that’s super weird if they want to do it same day. A separate celebration not associated to your wedding, sure. It is a slap in the face, to me, if she wants to do it same day. 

Post # 14
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jbandura:  +1 depending on how it’s presented. An after party is a great idea, but an after party where people who didn’t make the first cut are invited as tier 2 guests is a little offputting.

Post # 15
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jbandura:  I agree with you and posters who say it would be a little off-putting. I would be disappointed to be invited to an “after party” but not to the wedding itself. Maybe you could suggest to her that she can make it more of a backyard BBQ/family reunion or something and make it less wedding-related and just a friendly get-together? 

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