(Closed) Again….hurtful emails from family member. Advice?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: How should I respond?

    Don't reply at all

    Reply briefly saying I received the catalogue and it looks very good

    Reply in a general way and don't even mention the catalogue

    Reply and ask her to stop emailing with thinly veiled criticisms

    Other...please advise!

  • Post # 17
    2900 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My strategy when dealing with passive aggressive people is to just act totally oblivious.  I would probably reply like, “Hi Grandma! Yes, I got your catalog – it was lovely! All is well with me, thanks! Love, Loupyloo”

    And then don’t let her passive aggressive swipe bother you at all. You know she is being ridiculous – don’t spend a second feeling bad or like you should have heaped praise upon her immediately or anything. 

    But yeah, I think ignoring the bad behavior completely is the best way to go. Do not engage, do not apologize, do not make excuses – just act like you don’t get the underlying swipe at you at all. This drives passive aggressive people totally crazy. Lol. 

    Post # 18
    1882 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Loupyloo:  don’t reply when she is being this way. It just reinforces to her that if she pushes your buttons, you react.

    Post # 19
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m a pretty direct person and I would be tempted to meet up with her in person and call her out on her behavior. Something like, “grandma, I’m glad you share your accomplishments with me and I enjoy keeping up to date with you, but do you relative how hurtful your comments to me are?” Or something like that.

    Maybe I don’t know enough of your relationship with her to know if that would work. But if all the other grandchildren have cut communication with her, it kinda sounds like shes looking for validation and since you’re the only one that responds, all of her expectations come crashing down on you. 

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