(Closed) Against Favors

posted 12 years ago in Favors
Post # 17
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I spent WAY too much time thinking about favors.  Before I got engaged I pretty much never noticed them and since I was engaged I never kept any of the non-edible favors.  Even the really nice, thoughtful, more expensive ones – buying a present for a few bucks that most people will like is really hard! We ended up with a candy buffet which I guess is a pseudo-favor, but we did it just because I love candy and thought it would be fun.  I say if you don’t like the idea, skip it. 

Post # 18
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

Just to offer a differing opinion- I plan to provide favors at my wedding, but I think it really depends on what kind of wedding you’re having. 

 

A lot of our guests are coming in from long distances, and yes, they will all get out of town bags.  But we also have a very large number of guests who will just be driving in an hour or two that day for the wedding.  We’re giving out favors as a token of appreciation to everyone who came to share in our day.

 

That said- I’d definitely not miss them if they weren’t at a wedding.  Anyone who expects a gift is T-A-C-K-Y.

Post # 19
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am with RyanT – my fiance and I made cards indicating we were making a donation in lieu of favors to Doctors Without Borders, the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and the ASPCA.  I think people will appreciate that just as much (if not more because they will feel charitable via you and your FH!) than something they will either eat within a few minutes or not ever use  – my one exception is if they have rice krispy treats but that’s because I love those!

Post # 20
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Hmm. I admit I’m also someone who would notice if there wasn’t a favor. I wouldn’t be put off by it, but I’d notice.

I’m strongly in favor of stuff you can eat–and preferably something you can eat later, since you’re right, englishmuffin, many people will be full.

Post # 21
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I think the donation suggestions are a great idea though there will definitely be some guests who will be a bit miffed by it. (But that’s their problem.) There are some great volunteer groups, food relief, nature and wildlife organizations, and green groups. 

I debated what to do about favors. We could have bought some silver-plated fortune cookies for less than $2 per piece, but I hated the idea that it will just tarnish and get thrown in a drawer somewhere. Food was an option but I have a few relatives with food allergies and know a couple a people who don’t like chocolate. Since the Fiance and I love to travel, I came up with a theme-related yet practical solution. I scoured the Internet and found some quality, leather luggage tags for only $2.50 per piece (bought direct from manufacturer). With one-third of the guests coming in from out of town, I think they’ll be quite useful.

We won’t engrave them because who wants to have another person’s wedding info on your tag. We intend to use these are their escort tags to direct them to their dinner tables. Also attached will be a card letting them know how to share photos after the wedding. It’s multi-purpose and useful!

It’s really going to depend on what kind of expectations you and your guests have (finding a happy medium). I also need to take into account what works for my parents since they want to show thanks to all the relatives and family friends attending.

Post # 22
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Donations are a fabulous idea. I don’t know how I feel; I certainly would not mind if people didn’t give them at a wedding though, thats for sure. We are thinking little herbs in pots that we grew ourselves…useful, fragrant (for the table), fun…but I’m only doing it because I love gardening and it seems like a fun/not too hard idea.

Post # 23
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t think anyone will be offended or feel like they’re missing out if you skip favors altogether, but I do think the suggestion to do a donation in lieu of favors is a good one. That way you can spend as much or as little as you want and you don’t have to waste money on something that half your guests will throw out after the wedding, but you’re still doing a little something special. And if you put a little sign out on each table explaining the donation and its meaning, no one will wonder, "why are there no favors?" I also think it can be a nice way to really make the favors personal and meaningful — I’ve seen people give donation favors to cancer societies to honor the cancer survivors/victims in their families, to the animal shelters they got their pets from, etc.

Post # 24
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I’m also in favor of anything edible and useful favors that don’t feature names and wedding dates on them.  Yes, hopefully all the people who attend our weddings like/love us and are happy for us, but my feeling is no one outside of your immediately family needs something immortalizing your wedding date or names in their homes. 

Post # 25
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

I agree that favors are a waste of money. I think that my guests would enjoy a better bar, more food, cooler band over some little cheesy candle or mini picture frame. I never take favors from wedding, unless they’re edible and those usually suck too.

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