Post # 1
So I’m polling all you bees out there to find out how many of you have a large age differance in your relationship. For example my Fiance and I are 20 years apart, and it has always caused tensions with my family (it really doesn’t help that I knew they weren’t okay with him so I hid out relationship for six months or so, and that I’m an only child). But I was wondering if anyone out there has gone though this or is going though this. Thanks
Post # 3
I’m ten years apart from my husband. I’ve dated older men than that from me by about fifteen years. I actually had a male friend that was about 42 years older than me that I got along with fabulously. I didn’t realize it, but he was trying to date me! My parents were kind of worried then because it was apparent to everyone but me! But I think they would have accepted it eventually.
I know so many couples where the man is about 20 years older than the woman and they are really really happy. The only one that matters is you. How do you feel about your relationship? You are the one that has to live in it.
My mom calls my husband “middle aged.” I guess he is. Whatever. He’s in great shape, eats my diet food happily and loves me. What else do you need in life?
Post # 4
We’re 11 years apart, which you think is no big deal until you realize that I’m the older one. In a less accepting family, it might have been a problem, but his family embraced me with open arms!
Post # 5
There is 11 years between us too with me being the “cougar”. When we met, neither one of us had any clue our ages were that far apart. We met more than four years ago when he was 19 and I was 30. We both attended the same college (I had taken ten years off) and he was the manger of a bicycle store where I bought my first bike. We would go on group rides and talk. After a few months of riding together, my girlfriends and I invited him out to Happy Hour at a bar (still had no idea how old – or young – he was) and was surprised to find out he was underage.
We remained friends for about a year although we both had feelings for each other, neither of us acted on them. His father (who owns the bicycle shop) sat me down in the office one day and said he knew there was a big age difference between the two of us but that he and his wife really liked me and would have no problem with me dating their son. That was pretty much it and with him being 20 and me being 31, we started dating.
He is what you can call an “old soul”. He is a grumpy old man and doesn’t act like a stupid “kid”. His hobbies include building fine wood furniture, investing and riding bikes for fitness.
My mother was not pleased at all but has come around since then.
We own a home together, volunteer for bicycle advocacy groups, foster and rehabilitate homeless dogs (Louisville Weimaraner Rescue) and have an awesome relationship. This is my first marriage and the first time I’ve ever even thought of marrying someone…
Post # 6
Wow, lots of similarities mackina! We met when he was 20 and I was 31. He thought I was 27 at the time. We remained friends for 3 years, and then I finally succumbed to his charms…
He’s an old soul and I was so glad that I held out for the best guy ever!
Post # 7
@ Mrs. DG – awh, how sweet!
Post # 8
I’m six years older than he is!
Post # 9
Not much at all. He turned 29 in August and my 28th was last month.
Post # 10
My Fiance is 8 years older than me…my parents knew before me that I would marry an older man (if I ever got married) b/c immaturity never appealed to me….even as a youngster.
There is a 19 year age difference between my parents. My mom is 59 and my dad is 78. They have been married for over 37 years.
Post # 11
Mr. M and I have birthday’s a month apart in the same year – so we are the EXACT same age!
I think it is kinda weird because we met in our 20s not highschool and that usually doesn’t happen but my mom always says “It’s special” which I don’t really know what she means by that – but it has been fun growing into adults together (we were 21 when we met and will be married at 27)
Post # 12
he’s 6 years older than me. it’s not an issue at all with my parents (they love that he’s stable, has a house, a good job, etc. while i had just graduated and had no job and lived with my parents while we met. made him look really good!) his friends/family were visually surprised by my age at first. i always got a strange look when i said my age. but again, not really an issue. i think it’s most weird when it comes to our friends. my friends are still into the bar scene, his are married with babies. we hang out with his more.
Post # 13
@futuremrsmartin: I can totally relate to the whole “growing into adults together”! Fiance and I got together while I was still in college and then once I graduated we moved into our first apt. Funny to think about how things were then vs. how they are now!
Post # 14
We’re 5 years apart (he’s older) and it’s perfect. When you have a big age difference, it’s important to think long-term – if it works for you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
Post # 15
We have a 16 year age difference – I turned 28 last month, and FH is turning 44 on Sunday. I’ve always dated older men, so it didn’t come as a total surprise to my parents I’d end up marrying someone older. FH also looks younger than he is (my mom assumed he was mid-30’s when she first met him).
The only issue we’ve run into is with our plans for children. I feel no rush right now to have kids, and always just assumed I’d be well into my 30’s before having kids…but we need to speed up that timeline so FH isn’t 50 when the baby is born! 🙂 I’m ok with that though, and we’re still talking 2-3 years away, anyhow.
Post # 16
My boyfriend is eight years older (I’m 21, he’s 29). He has a young looking face and is carded wherever he goes, so if people just see us together, you would hardly know there was an age gap. My friends are the only ones that reacted negatively to his age because they hadn’t met him or seen us together. Anything beyond 24 is ancient to college kids, haha. I got all the “robbing the cradle” comments, and they assumed there was something sleazy about him because he was older and divorced…which, admittedly, I had done at first too.
Age really is just a number.