(Closed) Age difference?

posted 12 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
7 posts
Newbee

My parents were 16 years apart and were married for 36 years when my dad passed away.  I never noticed that it affected their relationship and never heard any comments from others.  Anyone can get sick or injured at any time, regardless of age.

Post # 32
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

My fiance is 7 years younger. I’m 36 and he turned 29 a few months ago. Best friends for 3 years, together for a year now. We have our little inside jokes about it but other than that, I don’t think anyone even notices

Post # 33
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

FH and I are 8 years apart. I’m 25 and he’s turning 33 in a few months. We did get a lot of comments at first, but now everyone is just used to it. I don’t even think of him being that much older than me. The only time it ever really comes up between us in like, “You were HOW OLD when that movie came out?!?! Oh my god.” LOL. Neither of us have been married before or have any kids, so that made it a lot less complicated in terms of where we were in life.

Post # 34
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Mount Princeton hot springs

wander :  

My husband and I are 19 years apart, I turned 27 Saturday and he’ll turn 46 next weekend. We met when I was 24 and while my friends (and his) definitely joked around about it at first, when the relationship became serious those comments kind of fizzled out and stopped because we were obviously in love. I think my husband probably comments on it more than anyone else. He’s the oldest person I have ever dated but I’ve always preferred dating people older than me. His ex wife was actually about 5 years older than him.

I will say that comments about me being with him for his money or him being with me for sex did really hurt my feelings at first, even though they were always made lightheartedly, because I felt that my relationship wasn’t being taken seriously because of the misconceptions of the people around me and that the best, most open and loving, mutually supportive and satisfying relationship I had ever been in was being belittled just because of our difference in age. Then I realized that the people making these comments were making flash judgements about what they thought our relationship was without taking the time to really look at it, and that my partner and I knew what we had and that was all that really mattered. 

As far as the rude comments made stereotyping your relationship, I’m sure there are more hateful people out there who feel that way. Unfortunately there are people in this world who think the way they think things should be is right those who are not like them are wrong. If someone thinks they can judge your relationship and it’s validity based solely on your age, I don’t think I’d take their opinion to heart. Yes my husband makes more money than me and yes we have a healthy sex life. Would that be a problem if we were the same age? I don’t think so, so why should it become a problem with our age difference? 

Post # 35
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

My sister’s ex-husband was 18 years older than she was, and while they were compatible in a lot of ways personality-wise, they weren’t compatible in terms of life stages.  He already had two kids from a previous marriage and she wanted children, he was thinking about retirement and she was still building a career, etc.  There’s also the matter of taking care of your older SO when they are that far ahead of you in the aging process.

Post # 36
Member
1999 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

nope. Age aint nothing but a number, before i settled down with Darling Husband, i dated a guy who was 43 and i was 24. Although we were in different parts career wise in our lives, we had plenty in common, got along great. 

Post # 37
Member
725 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Miss-Mauverick :  You need to calm down. Yes OP asked for people who also have an age gap but you know what… technically 1.5 years is still an age gap! And even if it wasn’t then who cares?! We grow the most by hearing perspectives from lots of different people. If you’d reread my original comment it was pretty positive so I don’t know why you’re all upset about me being “negative”. The “thinking he was my dad” part was a joke that was followed up with referring to me having a young face and saying that someone only 10 years older could probably look like my dad too. I think you missed my “you should love whoever you want because age is just a number” message that I was trying to portray. But regardless, this website is meant for people to be able to share their thoughts, experiences, ideas, and opinions. 

Post # 38
Member
2298 posts
Buzzing bee

made2comment :  I’m not surprised that you’re getting ripped to shreds over this comment, and while I don’t wanna say I agree that it’s rarely true love (cuz how the fuck would I know what’s going on in someone’s relationship), I do find it strange that is *almost* always older men and younger women, and that there is a huge difference between a 40 and 60 y/o vs a 20 and 50 y/o. Also, i couldn’t see myself as a 25 year old with a man in his late 30s or 40s…I don’t feel like we’d have anything to relate about. But everyone is in different walks of life and just because I personally wouldn’t do it, doesn’t mean that it can’t work for others! 

Post # 39
Member
2499 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

brideandblue :  I’m perfectly calm, thank you. And I stand by my opinion that your comments were unnecessary and not pertinent to the OP’s question. 1.5 years is not an “age-gap” in the eyes of society (pun intended). The rest of your post is purely hypothetical and reiterates the “he looks like he could be my dad” stereotype. None of which is helpful to the OP. 

Teekay6718 :  I love this! Yes my husband makes more money than me and yes we have a healthy sex life. Would that be a problem if we were the same age? I don’t think so, so why should it become a problem with our age difference? 

Post # 41
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

I’m 11 years older than my husband – I look younger than I am and he looks older. I have kids he doesn’t and we rarely think about the age gap. No one has ever commented at least not to us.!

Post # 42
Member
2499 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

happiekrappie :  Your comment is off-topic and not helpful. The OP did not ask the bees to state their singular age requirements/restrictions for a potential partner. She asked bees who are in an age-gap relationship to share their experiences. 

Post # 44
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Just adding to my previous comment here. My Darling Husband wanted to settle down early on in the relationship, and we had several big conversations (marriage, kids-we are CFBC, etc.) in the earlier dating stages. I could tell that he didn’t want to waste his time, and I appreciated his forthright behaviour. It was refreshing. I appreciate that he didn’t waffle over anything.

I feel like this is part of the age-gap appeal for me. He knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. 

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