(Closed) Age Gap

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

6 years is nothing! Especially when the older one is the man. I’m 31 and my husband is 40. We were 24 and 33 when we met. Looking back, I must admit that I was a little immature then but I think he saw potential and patiently waited (still waiting?) for me to grown up, lol! No one has ever commented or questioned the age gap.

Before I met my husband I was in a 2 year long relationship with a guy who was 13,5 years older than me. I can’t remember anyone ever commented on this either. He was a young spirit so I never even thought about him being so much older. The only time I felt too young was when we were around his friends. They were all in relationships with women their own age and I always felt like I had nothing in common with them. We didn’t split up because of the age gap, but just because we were not right for each other. This guy is now married to a girl who is even younger than me.

Post # 32
Member
6702 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Though women tend to live longer than men do, six years is such a negligible difference that I can hardly believe anyone comments on it. It wouldn’t concern me at all.

Post # 33
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

A girl I work with is 21 and her Fiance is 49. That to me is a big gap. I don’t think 6 years is! 🙂

Post # 34
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Here’s another bee with a 16.5 year age gap. A few people commented at the start but as people see the love and commitment, no one bats an eye lid. At least that has been my experience. True love is hard to find. Treasure each other! 

Post # 35
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

We are about the same age gap as well…..some people said some stuff at first but haven’t since. If anything, I always joke about it! And a lot of people in my family have even bigger age gaps in their marriages, like weird territory gaps. You just have to be confident in your relationship. Give people weird looks if they say something offensive and be like, “Oh? That’s a really weird thing to bring up! We never think about it at all!”

Post # 36
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Saint Domingue

laurenwilliam:  Unless you are in junior high and he’s six years older this is not a big deal at all.  I was expecting to read that there was a 20 year age difference or something.  Who bats an eye at six years’ difference when you’re adults? 

Post # 37
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

My bf is 8 years older than me. I’ve never had anyone question it or care. I’m 24, he’s 33 (in may). I’m a single mom though, so I guess people expect me to date guys older than me because they’re more stable and ready for serious family relationships. 

Post # 38
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

SwedishBee:  not trying to be catty, but why do you distinguish that a six year age difference is nothing if the older partner is the man?  Are you saying that it would be a big age difference if the woman were the older one?  Women live longer than men do.  Once you take slightly longer lasting fertility out of the equation, women age MUCH better than men do and have far greater vitality in old age.  If anything six years is nothing if it’s the woman who is older.

Post # 39
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

renierose:  Well, maybe I was a little bit generalising. My bad.

What I meant is that guys usually (in my experience) mature later than girls. Women seem to also be more eager to start a family in a younger age then men (generalising again, sorry!). It’s also more common that the woman is the younger one in a relationship which doesn’t mean that it is more “normal” and the other way around is not, but for sure can make a few more eyebrows raise when the woman is the older one. And as you wrote yourself, a man is usually fertile longer than a woman. Having a child late in life as a woman is not only more difficult, but the risks also increases, for both baby and mother.   

My brother is married to a 8 year older woman. They were 26 and 34 when they met and today they are 40 and 48. They are great together, so I’m certainly not one to judge. They are the only couple I know where the woman is older though. Every other couple I know is either same age or the man is older. 

Post # 40
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

laurenwilliam:  I got you beat as far as age gap goes. I’m 26 and he’s 35. Yes my family has been sceptical but I really don’t mind. At the beginning (age 23), I used to get a lot of questions but anybody who knows me realize that I’ve always been an old soul. 

Post # 41
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

SwedishBee:  well, six years isn’t a big deal no matter how you look at it.  You are right that older men with younger women are more common, but I do meet older women with younger men couples, too.  Whenever I see a woman with a much older man (15 years +),  I get a little sad for her.  I wonder what her golden years will be like.  But that is none of my business.  

Post # 42
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Home

My Fiance and I are 15 1/2 years apart and once people see us together they understand that we just fit together. I would just ignore people because 6 years is nothing!

Post # 43
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee

I definitely don’t think that’s a huge gap at this stage in your life! I have several “couple friends” with similar age differences. I only side-eye major age gaps if one person is super young and/or the two people are at completely different stages in life. 

Post # 44
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

laurenwilliam:  don’t worry about anyone, its your choice and your life 🙂 My fiancé and I are 10years apart, 24 and 34 and we are so perfect for each other. No one knows your relationship like you so don’t let them judge it x

Post # 45
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

mrscanderson:  EXACT SAME HERE!!!!! Get it, girl….

And agreed about pop culture references being the only time it’s weird. The other day “I’ve Had the Time of my Life” came on the radio and I was all, “Ohhh, I loved this movie,” and he goes, “Which movie?”

At those moments I just pretend he didn’t ask that question. NOPE!

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