(Closed) Age gap between kids?

posted 8 years ago in TTC
  • poll: How big of an age gap do you have between your kids?

    0-1 years

    1-2 years

    2-3 years

    3-4 years

    5+ years

  • Post # 17
    13094 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Me and my siblings each have 2.5 years between us (so 5 years between the oldest and youngest of the 3) and I have always thought that gap would work really well for DH and I.

    Post # 18
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    @MrsR4ever:  thx!  I hope so! XO

    Post # 19
    1714 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I have three children with an age gap of 6 years between 1 and 2 and 1.5 years between two and three, so I have been in both worlds. 
    Both have benefits and hardships, you have to know how much stamina you have because either you need it for “the long haul” (i.e. parenting for ages because of a large age gap. Going through puberty with one kid while the other one needs a costume for holloween. Late nights with croup and late nights while waiting for your oldest to come home on the weekend) or you will need it for “the messy years” when you are living from one washload to the next, sleepless nights and endless hours at the play park. 

    I personally feel blessed for my whole experience. It is hard (hard hard) and long (so seriously long) but I love this family, I love that my younger children can profit from all the experience I have (by having an older child) and from the loving attention of thier older sister and I love seeing my younger two being best friends and so close (even if it means a lot of neogtiations, rowdiness and fights). 

    Pick what you like, it’ll be great ! 🙂

    Post # 20
    1090 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @vorpalette:  says who? that seems a little extreme to me! A year’s time is PLENTY. Even if it’s not a year, most people do just fine with pregnancies very close..my mother had 2 boys in her 20’s and then 4 girls–one at 35, me at 36, and twins at 39.  She did just fine even being “advanced maternal age” for the majority of her kids! A lot of women get pregnant one right after the other for multiple pregnancies and do just fine! (19 kids and counting anyone? Although that’s a LITTLE extreme!). 

    We are unsure of what we are going to do as far as time-wise goes…I would like at least 2 years between kid 1 and 2 just for the fact that having one baby is going to be tough enough during med school, I don’t really want to have 2 and not be able to graduate on time! My mom had 4 daughters, all under the age of 4, and we all fought like CRAZY growing up, but now my sisters are my absolute best friends and I feel very lucky to have three sisters so close in age to me to be able to talk to/vent to whenever! I am not close to my half brothers at all and they are both close to 10 years older than me. 2 years between kids is kind of our maximum, and that’s probably 2 years between their actual age, not waiting until the first one is 2 to start trying again.  We want 3 or 4 kids, and this is almost selfish of me, but if we had all those kids back-to-back-to-back I think I would be DEVASTATED when they all graduated and moved away one right after the other.  Spacing them 2 years apart will give me a little more time with them at home and not face the sadness of one leaving the house every year.  I have strange reasoning, I know! 

    Dream-world, though, it would be fantastic to have one kid, then not have the others until that kid is around 7 or 8 and can help with the little ones.  Haha! …We are not going to do that, though, because we kind of want to get kids “over with” while we are still young so that way when they are grown and out of the house, we won’t be super old and will still have the energy to travel, etc. when we have more time and money.  

    Post # 21
    4354 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We are planning for about 2 years between our kids.

    Post # 23
    2746 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I want my kids to be 6 years apart. The same as my own brother and myself.

    Also from a teacher’s perspective, I like to see the relationships of 6 year gap sib-sets to 2 years or less.

    Post # 24
    2224 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    if i have more children, there will be a 7-10 year age gap between the one I have and the next one, then I’d want a third closely after the second.

    Post # 25
    306 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Fi has 2 girls, and I have no bio children. right now, they are 10 and 7– our wedding is in June, and we plan to TTC shortly after that, or at least sometime this year. 

    Which means, our youngest will be at least 11 years younger than our oldest. 

    I wanted to TTC on our honeymoon just for fun, but he says if we really are going to TTC, he really wants to wait until we get back, so we can just both relax and enjoy the honeymoon. 

    Post # 26
    6104 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I voted 2-3 years. That way the first is still close to their sibling’s age but not still a “baby”. I personally do not like huge gaps but that’s because my brother and I are 7 years apart and I honestly feel that’s why we aren’t as close as most siblings are. We get along great but the huge age difference puts us in way different places in our lives. However, I had a cousin who is only 9 months younger than me and we were like sisters when we were younger and I loved it

    Post # 27
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    View original reply
    @Bazinga:  My thoughts exactly.

    I initially wanted to wait at least 3 years between kids, but a) DH’s grad school and job situation is making it so I won’t have near as much time for kid-having as I thought, and b) his mom had him and his sister within 2 years of each other and she liked getting all the gross baby stuff over at once and never having to think about it again.

    Post # 28
    6881 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    No more than 5 years. We only have 1 child right now he is 18 months and I want to start trying for another one by the end of the year, which would make them about 3 years apart if do get pregnant

    Post # 29
    4581 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I won’t vote because I’m currently pregnant with my first. But the current plan is to probably start trying for baby #2 when DD is around 18 months old so there would be at least 2 years between them.

    Post # 30
    3571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I don’t have kids yet so this might change but I would want no more than 3 years between children. My sister and I were pretty close (aren’t now) and i think that’s because were were relatively close in age. 

    Post # 31
    1149 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @Ninteenthchance:  I voted 3-4 years as that’s the age gap between my youngest brothers and it seems to work well – not too far apart but not close either that it makes it hard work. If you’re thinking of it from the perspective of ‘the closer in age they are the better they will get along’ I wouldn’t worry about that at all.. There are 6 years between me and my oldest brother, 8 and 10 years between me and my sisters and.. wait for it.. 20 and 23 years between me and my youngest two brothers (my mum had me very young!).

    I have an amazing relationship with all my siblings and we get along great, they’re the loves of my life! As long as you have a good family environment it doesn’t matter how far apart they are in age 🙂

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