Post # 1
I… um… have a friend… who says her sister has asked her not to include her as one of her bridesmaids because the sister thinks she’s too old. The bride is 31 and the sister is 15 years older. The bride doesn’t think that’s a problem, and in fact, she considered having her own mother (age 60) as a bridesmaid in the wedding. The sister would be with 5 other bridesmaids ranging in age from 26-31. The sister said she would feel silly and that most wedding guests wouldn’t be able to "stomach" a 45 year old bridesmaid.
I know what you’ll all say. "That’s silly. Plenty of people have older bridesmaids and 45’s not old! And if the bride wants her in the wedding, there’s no problem, but if it makes her uncomfortable, don’t force her…" etc. Even though I can guess what the overwhelming response will be, if the sister hears enough people say it, I think she’ll be convinced it’s not as horrid as she thinks. I think she’ll regret it later if she doesn’t stand by her sister on her wedding day for such a silly reason.
What do you all think?
Post # 3
Nobody will care. Is not the bridesmaid’s day. No one will pay attention to her and she’s the bride’s sister…that I think comes first than she being 45.
Post # 4
I’ve seen older aunts who are in their 40s be bridesmaids, and it’s not something the guests think about. It’s about family and love and what can be better than having your sister in your wedding party!?
Post # 5
I’ve seen bridesmaids older than 45 and it isn’t about age, it is about the relationship with the bride, but if the sister feels extremely uncomfortable, can the sister give her a role that she feels more comfortable with? Maybe a reading and give her the option to do a speech at the wedding if she chooses?
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
Age doesn’t matter I don’t think! Many people count their monthers as their best friends, and therefore, Matrons of Honor. Mrs. Hydrangea’s Matron of Honor was her mother! She looked gorgeous!
Post # 7
No! A sister is a sister is a sister- no matter what the age. The most important thing is that you are surrounded by those you love.
Post # 8
I second what penguin said, some people do have their mom as Maid/Matron of Honor, and even their dad as Best Man, age shouldn’t be an issue whatsoever!
Post # 9
It’s all about surrounding the bride with people that she loves. There’s no matter in age or "how it might look." If she loves her, then go for it! (Some sisters don’t get along so well!) Fooey to what others might say, it’s her day!
Post # 10
I think it is a GREAT idea to have her sister by her side when she makes this step in her life!! 25, 45, 65 or 85 any age is fine to be involved in a wedding!
If my sister weren’t going to be just having a baby, I would ask her to stand up for me and with me.
Post # 11
I do not think that there should be a age limit. You never know how old you will be when you get married and you will always have those special people that you want standing next to you. I will be having my 36 year old sister standing as my Maid/Matron of Honor and she is so exited.
Post # 12
I don’t think it would be a problem to have her in the wedding. But if she feels uncomfortable, the only hope you have is to try to reassure her that the situation isn’t inappropriate. I hope she understands how important she is to you and will do it for you.
Post # 13
I do not think it would appear weird or inappropriate for her to be a bridesmaid at all! Brides and grooms come in all ages, and so should their bridesmaids/groomsmen!
Post # 14
That is a very selfish perspective she has imho.
I know some gorgeous 45 yo’s and it really doesn’t matter if her age shows. The bride to be will one day be 45 and I hope that she is treated at every age with dignity and respect as everyone deserves.
Post # 15
My Maid/Matron of Honor is my older sister, who is 47. Her 18 y.o. daughter is one of my BMs.
Post # 16
My fiance is having his 63 year old father as his best man. At first my mom thought that was odd–not because of his age but because he is the father of the groom–but that is how it is traditionally done where my fiance is from. My godfather is our senior usher and he is 52 and my godmother is not a bridesmaid but presenting us with our flowers for the devotion to Mary and is 56. I think your friend’s sister is a little off base, but if she doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid, there is nothing that says she must accept her sister’s invitation.
I do know that when my mom was pregnant with my brother back in the day, my aunts did not ask her to be in their weddings as you used to not have pregnant bridesmaids. I always thought that was so rude until my FI’s sister was due on the day of his brother’s wedding and looked quite uncomfortable!