(Closed) aggressive dog causing marital discord :(

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: what should be done with the dog?
    you're justified being upset at your husband's reaction : (62 votes)
    31 %
    you should not be upset with your husband's reaction : (27 votes)
    14 %
    the dog should be put down : (24 votes)
    12 %
    the dog should be re-homed : (46 votes)
    23 %
    the dog should stay with you guys : (40 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 77
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    There is no such thing as a dog that isn’t trainable. You and your husband aren’t being firm enough.

    That said, if this dog’s attitude is really as nasty as you say it is and my husband was acting as nonchalant about it as yours apparently is, I’d be out of the picture.

    Post # 78
    1346 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I haven’t read any comments, so someone has possibly suggested this already, but he may have a medical condition. Often times huge changes in personality can stem from brain tumours, and as he is being aggressive towards other dogs as well as you, I wouldn’t rule that out. If it was only you, I’d think it might be more of a training issue, but it seems like the only one he isn’t being aggressive to is your husband.

    If you haven’t already I would speak to my vet about that possibility.

    Post # 79
    1346 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Also, this dog is dangerous. He has attacked you, and frankly it is irresponsible for anyone to suggest that he continue to live with you. If the situation can be fixed, GREAT! But until it is fixed you should not have to be afraid of living in your own home. This isn’t a case of a lazy owner unwilling to fix an issue/take responsibility.

    This is a case of a dog that is attacking someone. I am usually the last person to suggest getting rid of a pet, but when your safety is in danger that goes out the window.

    Post # 80
    1639 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    You poor thing, so many people not actually paying attention to “we’ve taken him to the vet a million times and there is nothing wrong with him” part of your post AND frequent updates.

    I’d get rid of the dog. I sure as hell would not want a 125 lb animal near my 8-10lb baby. I mean that dog is probably as tall as a toddler. What would happen if the dog suddenly decided that your child was a threat? ESPECIALLY once it starts walking.

    I have owned many dogs, and had to be the “pack leader.” My mother-in-law breeds rottweilers, which are very large as well. And bulky. We both believe in training and proper socialization, and the fact that the dog acts out not only at you (which means he’s probably possessive of your husband) but at other dogs (which is possessive AND improperly socialized) is a recipe for disaster….It doesn’t sound like your dog was properly socialized, and it’s hard to work with a dog at this age so set in its ways. It’s not like you can take it to the dog park and gradually hope it doesn’t attack another dog. = It could kill a smaller dog, or maim one, and you’d be sued for the vet bills and then it WOULD be put to sleep.

    Either rehome it to someone more experienced, or sadly, put it down. But I wouldn’t risk that with children…EVER.

    Post # 81
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

    Just to start, I want to say that I’m an animal lover in general and I especially think dogs are great. 

    At this point though I would be thinking about getting rid of this dog/ having it put down. This is probably going to be a horribly unpopular opinion but I really feel you shouldn’t have to be afraid in your own home or out at the park around other dogs. I’d be incredibly worried having this dog around kids! What would you do if he really hurt you, another dog or someone else out on a walk? 

    Aggressive behaviour must be solved and it really sounds like you have tried. He’s been to professional training and you’ve had him checked for medical issues that might be the root cause. If you can’t solve it then what else can you do? Either the dog goes or you live in fear of getting bitten when you deal with him. 

    My friend had to deal with a situation like this. She owned a dog from being a puppy for 8 years. He was always nervous but one day he just freaked out and killed a smaller dog at the park. She took it straight to the vet and had him put down. She was incredibly sad but just couldn’t bring herself to take the dog back to her home, where her two small children were waiting. I think she really did the right thing, as hard as it was. 

    I know this will make your husband really sad, but he cannot be happy really with you being so afraid of the dog. I would personally see if I could find someone that would be willing to take the dog on. You have to be honest about his agressiveness issue etc. He might do better somewhere warm enough that he could live outside or something. If you really can’t find someone to take him, I would take him to the vets and have him put to sleep. Just don’t surrender him to a shelter. He would likely have a hard time getting adopted because of his issues and eventually get put to sleep anyway. Except he would have spent his last few weeks lonely in a cage instead of with the person he’s loved since he was a puppy. 

    Post # 82
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I feel for you! I am in a similar situation with my cat…extremely aggressive towards me, but not my husband (although obviously a cat is a lot smaller than your dog!). I don’t know if I have any advice for you really, I’ve never owned a dog, only cats, so I’m not sure about the whole training aspect. I understand that your big dog can cause way more damage than my cat, but I could never get rid of my cat…so I’m not sure if I was your husband if I’d really be able to get rid of the dog (even if he knows that might be best). I know that’s not what you want either. You are in a very difficult situation, I honestly am not sure what I’d do! My husband always says the cat attacks me because I’m afraid of it now (which I am, cats can cause a surprising amount of damage when they want to…he bit me so deep it got infected and spread down my arm, had to take antibiotics for awhile!). I think it’s true that being afraid can make animals more aggressive towards you because they feel that they’re superior to you, but I agree that it’s difficult not to be afraid of them after they’ve hurt you!

    Post # 83
    6117 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @ferdie224:  Seriously, I would hire a pet behaviorist.  Sending him to a training facility to be trained and not dealing with the issues he has at home is not the proper avenue for this.  he needs to be assesed in his home with a behaviorist.


    If you find one near you using this link, ask about the behavioral training background.  You don’t want a PetsMart trainer type of person here.

    Sometimes bites can be misunderstood and now people think the dog is aggressive.  Not all bites = aggressive dog we need to get rid of.  Maybe he was like, “Hey stinky lady, I found that sock first it’s mine!”  But he cannot actually say that to you hence his other way of communicating.


    I believe hiring a behaviorist to come to your home and assess things that way is the first thing to try if I were you. 

    The topic ‘aggressive dog causing marital discord :(’ is closed to new replies.

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