MemberI bought a pretty pair of blue satin flats on super sale. I like heels, but my fiance is already an inch or so shorter than me, so I thought he’d prefer flats. But I showed them to him and he was basically underwhelmed and said they aren’t ‘wedding shoes.’ What does that mean? Oh well, I guess it’s back to the drawing board.
Member@Sarahkay_3: DON’T GUESS.
Go to your FI and say, “Hunny, you said that these aren’t wedding shoes, and I have no idea what that means. What do you feel are better shoes? Heels? White? More sparkle? Less decoration?” Also, tell him why you chose them, “I bought these shoes because I wanted something blue, but maybe this is too much blue?”. Sometimes reasons make a difference in opinion.
MemberWhy does it matter? Does he need to approve of everything you wear? It doesn’t seem healthy…
MemberHe probably won’t even notice your shoes. At all. Hello, you’ll be wearing a wedding gown and marrying him! BUT if you really feel this is a problem, ask what his definition of a “wedding shoe” really is, and go from there.
Member@MissNumbers: I think it’s reasonable that both partners have joint decision on the wedding clothing and decorations. Wedding clothing =/= everything you wear.
Member@PlumeriaSplash: +1 my FI and i planned everything together. To the last detail. Maybe ask him exactly what he means by what he said.
MemberWhy does he get an opinion on your shoes?? I would never ask my FI! You’re wearing them!!!!!
My FI will be wearing white & black spectators… not my favorite, but they are his feet!
MemberWhat in the world are “wedding shoes”? I’m scratching my head as well. Do you like them? Then keep them and wear them, no need to show them to your FI for his approval. Unless his name happens to be Jimmy Choo.
MemberIf my FI had to approve what I wear I guess I’d either be naked or he’d be pissed everyday and vice versa. I don’t understand it the approval thing at all.
Member@PlumeriaSplash: Thanks for defending me. it’s hardly ‘everything I wear.’ But on our wedding day I want him to like what I’m wearing *so I asked him what he thought* since he has really good taste usually. I certainly hope he takes my opinions into consideration as well when he chooses his attire. I think it’s funny that in many weddings the bride chooses the groom’s entire outfit like he’s a Ken doll and no one bats an eye.
I asked him more what he thought was a ‘wedding shoe,’ and he said more strappy, more heel, more of a dancing shoe. So I guess I’ll try on some more of those styles like that, but I still have the others as a backup I suppose.
MemberI didn’t show my DH (then FI) my wedding shoes, but I did tell him that they were pink and he HATED the idea and tried to veto it many times!
I did not let him veto it and told him too bad my shoes were going to be pink!
I also added pink crinoline under my dress but I didn’t tell him because I thought he would veto that too! LOL
Turns out on the wedding day he loved my pink shoes and my pink crinoline and said it was very me!
Trust me, the last thing your FI will care about on your wedding day is your SHOES!!!!!
Go with what you love!
Member@Sarahkay_3: I’m so sorry if you thought the rest of us were attacking you or something! I was just trying to relate what I thought the male perspective would actually be on the wedding day! My hubby is only a few inches taller than me, so i went for a lower heel that was somewhat strappy. If this helps, here is what I wore to my reception:
I wore the off-white. It only has a 2.5″ heel, but still seems like a strappy high heel, and it was so comfortable and I could dance in them!
MemberWhat about looking for some elegant sparkly shoe clips to dress your shoes up a bit? I bet that would look great with the blue satin!
MemberI’m of the camp that he won’t even notice your shoes. (And why did you ask him in the first place?) But I think that if there is a chance he will notice and be upset, then it might be really helpful to ask some of the questions mentinoed above, and then try to find a new pair that he thinks are more “wedding appropriate.”
Member@GreenGarnet: Thanks. That actually might be a great solution! I just hate the idea of looking for another pair- I have really small, narrow feet and there’s not too many pairs in my size.
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