Post # 1
Hello Bees 🙂
Ok, my future hubs and I (we’re not engaged yet, but will be before the end of the year 😀 ) are both atheists, and both have very strong liberal politcal beliefs. There for, when we DO get “married” we’re more interested in having a commitment ceremony. Heres my issue….Not many people have this kind of ceremony, with no religious or legal implications (if that makes sense). Has anybody else done something like this? I’ve been considering handfasting with a ring ceremony and vows. Has anyone else done this? Or a handfasting in general? I’m looking for some tips to pulling this off, and not tick off my family (who are christian, but the close fam is pretty liberal too, I do have a few conservative christian relatives who, to keep peace in the family, will be invited, but probably won’t be happy about the kind of ceremony I have.)
Post # 3
So the ceremony you want is to have no legality to it? Just two people saying they want to be together? But in the eyes of the law/government you’d still be single?
Just trying to understand 🙂
Post # 4
Yeah, thats pretty much it (a little strange I know, but Mr.Man doesn’t want government futzing around with his life (and ours at that point) and I’m perfectly Ok with that. It’s just one of those things with him, and I don’t feel like We need that piece of paper, but the ceremony means a lot to both of us and my family. 🙂
Post # 5
@Rewind: Thats fine. Each to their own 🙂
I know people who have done handfasting and found it very beautiful but I personally associate it with paganism. So if you’re trying to go for something non-religious I’m not sure it would work.
So what I’m thinking is a humanist ceremony. I don’t know if you know about humanists but essentially its about being a good person whilst being an atheist. From what I understand there ceremonies are about the two individuals and the vows can be written entirely by the couple. Religion is never mentioned. I’m sure there are other bees who can shed more light.
You can find out about humanists here: http://www.americanhumanist.org/
And a humanist wedding blog (this is really interesting): http://humanistweddings.blogspot.co.uk/
Post # 6
I don’t know if humanist is just a way of defining atheists though.
You could check out secular vows posted here on WB: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/secular-vows
Post # 7
If you go to the pagan boards, it sounds like those ceremonies are kind of what you are looking into, if you are looking at handfasting and the likes. Or try offbeat bride if you haven’t already stumbled onto that gem.
Post # 8
If anything, looking for something that has no religious or political implications would be extremely liberating. That is, you wouldn’t be limited to witnesses or who officiates or the format in any way shape or form. This gives you a totally blank slate. We wrote most of our own vows. Ours did become legal, though. But I’d think of what’s meaningful to you as a couple and incorporate mentions of it somehow. For example, my husband and I love music, so we played a duet as part of our ceremony. I’ve also seen artists paint a “unity painting” instead of doing the unity candle or sand ceremony. We also did a pseudo-handfasting. No cord or anything, but we held each others’ hands so our arms looked like the shape of infinity. And we incorporated our love of nature/astronomy into our vows as well. It’s all about you in the end!
Post # 9
This is a very belated reply, but maybe I can still be helpful.
I posted in another topic or two describing our ceremony, but here it is again.
Fiance and I are strongly against the church, and didn’t even want our friend (who is performing the ceremony) ordanced through an online church, so we’re getting legally married the day before our actual wedding.
Why I think this information may be helpful to you is because our actual ceremony, where I will wear a white gown and all, has no legal or religous holdings. It’s just what we want to do. (We also want to be legally married though.) Anyway, we’re vaguely modeling it after the traditional Christian ceremony (just because that seems a smooth way of doing things) but our ceremony will consist of a statement of our relationship and intentions and committment to each other, a reading, a blood oath (we’ll gently prick each other’s fingers and say something), ring exchange, and vows.
Could you just do something like that? I mean really, you can do whatever you want. Just think about what you’re actually trying to say to the world and each other, and form it into a ceremony.