(Closed) Agreed upon timeline has passed…. ring is bought.

posted 2 weeks ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3111 posts
Sugar bee

Did you have a husband 7 months ago? How long have you been with your current SO?

Post # 3
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 1996

If he hadn’t done anything concrete about proposing I’d probably say he blew it.

But if he has the ring and you know that for a fact…I guess I’d wait maybe one month more at the most…since you agreed to marry this summer. 

Wow what a situation!   And I do not blame you for feeling resentful Bee!  Damn!

 

Post # 4
Member
3588 posts
Sugar bee

I would say something, as in “We agreed on the end of March and it’s April 2nd. What is going on?”

Post # 5
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

My usual answer would be “propose to him”.  But since you appear to be very traditional in this regard (asking for your father’s blessing), I don’t think you’d go for that.

If you’re expecting a surprise proposal, give it 2 or 3 more weeks, and then say to him point blank “I know you have bought me a ring, and we talked about getting married this summer.  It’s already late April, there isn’t that much time left until this summer.  You still want to get married this summer, don’t you?  Because I know I still definitely want to and don’t want to put it off longer than that.”  See how he responds.  If you aren’t expecting a surprise proposal, it’s OK to have that discussion right now.

How he responds will tell you everything you need to know, and you can proceed from there.

Post # 6
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@annon12398:  Why don’t you openly talk to him about what is going on? It’s time to have open & honest conversations

Post # 7
Member
5250 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

 

View original reply
@mrsaime:  oooh this was an interesting find. Bee, you’ve posted on this anonymous account before, about getting drunk with your husband’s family, 7 months ago. That’s what mrsaime is referring to

Post # 9
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m torn. On the one hand, you don’t want him to believe that he can break agreements the two of you have made together and get away with it. On the other hand, he may have the proposal planned and you don’t want to ruin the moment. He’s put you in a pretty crappy position. 

Maybe give him until the end of April to see what happens and if there’s a good reason for the wait. It could be that he has a very specific location or event in mind that warranted a slight delay. In that case, you’ll know that he had a meaningful plan and wasnt breaking the agreement just because he was dragging his feet. 

If there is no apparent reason for waiting into April, but he still proposes soon, I actually think you should bring it up once you’ve had a chance to celebrate your engagement. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something. Before we got engaged, we agreed to the end of March as a timeline. You delayed past that. I’m overjoyed we’re engaged, but it is not okay to promise me something and then go back on that promise. I don’t want this to be a pattern in the future, because it will only lead to resentment. We are okay, but I wanted to let you know how I was feeling.” 

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