Post # 1
A close friend of mine is getting married in a couple months. I just got the invitation yesterday. A few minutes ago, my stepmom called to tell me that my stepbrother is getting married…ON THE SAME DATE. One wedding’s in Nashville, the other’s in New Orleans, so there’s no way that I can go to both. How do I choose which one to go to? Someone’s gonna be pissed at me either way!
Post # 3
Oh that sucks! I’m sorry!
How close are you to your friend? Do you have a roll in the wedding? Also, how close are you to your stepbrother? Which wedding is closer to you? Did you tell your mom about this when you talked?
Normally, I say family wins out, but since he is your stepbrother, it may not be the same.
Post # 4
Family usually wins, no one should ever get offended by that. But if you aren’t close to your stepbrother at all (why didn’t you already know about his wedding date?) and you’ve already told your friend you would go to hers, it hsould be okay.
Post # 5
Which couple are you closer to? Which would be the most hurt if you weren’t able to make it? Is there a way that you could make plans to get together with the couple who’s wedding you can’t attend, at a later date? I also noticed that you live in New Orleans (or you are at least getting married there), so maybe attend the wedding in New Orleans to save money on traveling before your own wedding. Or, have you considered not attending either one? How close are these weddings to your own? Maybe you’ll have too much wedding planning of your own going on at that point, I don’t know. I hope everything works out! Good luck!
Post # 6
I’d just go with who you’re closer to. If you’re really close to your stepbrother, that’s one thing. But if not, I say go to your friends. And if his family (your family, whoever) raises grief, just say “i alreayd made arrangements for X’s wedding; i received the notice first”
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Ugh, horrible! I don’t envy your dilemma. I would go to the wedding of whoever I’m closer to (and hope that it’s the step-brother, because family tends to be less forgiving of these things than friends do!) and send a *really nice gift* to the other couple.
Post # 8
I would choose family. I have step-siblings, and they are no less family to me than my other siblings.
Post # 9
I’d go with who I was closest to. I’m guessing this is your friend, since you’ve known about the wedding date and already have the invitaiton, while you only recently received news of your step-brother’s wedding.
Post # 10
that’s tough.. i’d say family usually wins and your friend would understand but i don’t know what your relationship is like with your stepmom / brother.
Post # 11
i’m closer to my friend, and we both live in new orleans, so it would be much easier to just go to hers. but i’d feel terribly guilty if i missed his. he just set his date, which is why i found out about stepbro’s wedding today. we aren’t very close, but he has no other siblings so it would be nice if i go. (sigh)
i’ll probably wind up going to his and do what some of you said: send a very nice gift and sincere apologies.
Post # 12
Like PP I say who ever you are closer to!
Post # 13
Don’t go to a wedding you feel obliged to go to. Go to the wedding that means the most to you. If your step-brother knew that you would rather be at your friend’s wedding it’d get him down. Instead, be an important part in of the pre-wedding process and stick with your friend for the wedding.
Post # 14
May I add that my stepbrother is a well known musician and his wedding will probably kick ass? It’s a little incentive to take the drive to nashville…
Post # 15
I may be in the minority here, but short of a disowning- go with family. Close or not, you’re bound by marriage to your stepbrother. Take your friend out for drinks and dinner (your treat) and bemoan the horrible situation, you don’t know what to do, you want SOOO BADLY to go to hers, etc. Odds are she’ll let you off the hook herself. She won’t want to be the bridezilla that MADE you miss your SBs wedding. Something similar happened to me, but from the bride end. A close family friend probably won’t come to my wedding because her husband wants to go to HIS friend’s wedding that same weekend. She told me how bad she feels and how she’ll try to fly in and out for a few hours, etc. I told her I’d love for her to come, but if it’s that important to her husband, don’t sweat it. I’m sure your friend will do the same.
Post # 16
Wow…ugh. Situations like these suck. =/
I would say go to your stepbrother’s wedding (he is family, after all), and make sure to have a lunch out with your friend and explain, like teamzeewagen said.