- 4 years ago
Have been reading all your experiences and feel the need to get this off my chest, especially as I’ve left the festive period feeling a bit low, and am annoyed at myself for that so it’s a vicious cycle!
It was my birthday the week before Christmas (18th). The weekend 15-17th we went away to a wee log cabin near a loch which conveniently was blanketed in loads of snow so it was lovely.
We know we want to get married and have kids, have spoken about it since very early on. I’m 32, he’s 31, together 18 months, and in that time been through a LOT which has made us very strong. About a month or so ago he said (when he was a little tipsy one night) that the proposal would be ‘soon’; he kept repeating the word ‘soon’. So I figured it’d be over this birthday weekend as it’d be the perfect setting and we don’t often do things like this. The day before we went away I convinced myself it wasn’t going to happen so that I wouldn’t be disappointed and in the process made myself quite sad 😂 am finding it difficult to imagine him planning something that I know nothing about as we’re so close, but I guess that’s the whole point!
Bit of background – I don’t believe (for myself) in spending tons on a ring or wedding, I’d prefer sentimentality and any extra money to go towards our property or future or travelling. My Granny died in 2016 and when my dad found out we were talking about getting engaged he told me she’d left me her engagement ring, which I hadn’t been aware of (she’d actually told me about 10 years ago she would, but I didn’t know anyone else knew and had assumed when she died that perhaps one of my cousins was given it). My boyfriend and I chatted once about this and I told him I’d been left a ring but that he’d have to ask my dad for it if he wanted to propose with it.
Prior to December, there are two possible dates that he could have gotten the ring from my dad, from odd behaviour, although of course I could have imagined it! As I’d convinced myself it wasn’t going to happen on the birthday weekend away I stopped looking for signs and it was only as we were getting out the car after we returned home something happened that made me think he had been planning it but I’d unwittingly messed it up!
On the Saturday at the cabin, we agreed to go for a lovely big snowy walk and then a swim in the village hotel. He’d gone out earlier in the morning and came back saying he’d found somewhere to go up into some woods and that he was sure there was somewhere good to take photos ‘at the top’, so he took his camera. We walked for a good while, but he was a good ten feet or more ahead of me the whole time which I thought was odd as didn’t feel like we were walking ‘together’. I’ve had a bad knee and in the cold it started to tighten like it usually does before it seizes up, and I didn’t want to spend the rest of the weekend with a sore knee unable to do stuff, so I said I’d have to stop after a mile or so. He let out a massive ‘arghhhhh’ which was really unlike him as he’s super calm and doesn’t easily get annoyed (in contrast my ex would have been a total nightmare and dick in this situation). He said he’d go the rest of the way himself to take the picture, so I waited there. On the way back we walked together and chatted, which we didn’t do on the way up. Then when we got back to the cabin he said ‘I’ll go warm up the car and you go in and get my swimming shorts’ which I did.
In retrospect he kept always going to the car on his own – at home he put his bags in the car while I finished getting ready, he’d been to the car before the walk, and again straight after. When we got home we took all of the bags out of the car together and when we had them all he suddenly said ‘turn around’ sharply so I did. When I turned back he was trying to rush to put something in his trouser pocket which appeared square and corner-y – I took a peek when we turned to walk towards the house. It was a quick glance but whatever was in his pocket was size-wise the same as the box my grandmother’s ring was in. With it being christmas/my birthday season there was no reason for me to question having to turn round, and I know he’d be relying on that, knowing that I like to have a little bit of surprise. When we got back to the house he went straight to the spare room (where other hidden presents were) and told me not to come in.
I didn’t want to mention it in case it ruins a future surprise, and I don’t want to ruin that for him. Also i thought he may do it over new year but he didn’t – don’t think that would be his style, but no idea when else it could be. At Christmas, my dad and his wife and my sister both got us joint Christmas cards that said ‘To A Special Couple’. I’d opened the fairly large cards myself, and with the excitement of Christmas day (think when i opened them he was distracted by whisky) he apparently didn’t notice. When we got home I put the cards on the mantelpiece and said ‘my dad and sister got us these lovely cards that say special couple’ and he said ‘what??’ and looked all odd – e.g.. the kind of reaction a guy might have if we’d been going out for a few weeks and was taken aback by joint cards 😂 Definitely not the case, so I joked a little with him about his reaction and he started laughing. Obviously my dad and that part of the family would have known if he was planning it as he’d have gotten the ring and may have gotten those cards anticipating us being a new ‘happy couple’ kinda thing. Thought it was especially odd to get that from my sister as not her usual style!
Anyway. Arghhh. I know it’s not like we’ve been together many many years and I’m tired of waiting, but am going mad trying to stop going over things in my head! I do feel like all these little things are signs, especially as there’s been a few now, but also keep imagining I’m overthinking as I know many of us are wont to do!
Thanks if you read this far 🙂 xxx