(Closed) Ahh! Sticky Family Situation!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You are over thinking.  People can’t expect you to make every social obligation ever.  I would make sure your reasoning is known, and make your appology for not being able to be there.

What I have done in the past, though, when I couldn’t make a shower of a close friend was go out for a dinner with either just the two of us, or us and SOs.  It happened twice that I couldn’t go. One was for a girl who’s wedding I was in, but I was in back to back weddings, and both of the girls had showers on the same day, but one I was hosting.  The second was a girl who’s shower was durring my honeymoon.  Both time I saved the gift and brought it to dinner, and it was actually fun just hanging out. 

Post # 3
7601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Offer to take her out for dessert and coffee or a celebratory drink on a day that works for you both.

Post # 4
240 posts
Helper bee

This is tough. I would say talk to the bride one on one, explain the prior engagement and assure her that you would be at the shower if you could. I would even say you want to make sure there are no hard feelings. If i were the bride, I would understand and appreciate that you took the extra effort to explain to me why you couldn’t be there. Just my opinion and I don’t consider myself well-versed in ettiquette. Hope this helps!

Post # 5
2683 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve had to miss my fair share of showers and bachelorette parties and nobody has ever had any hard feelings.  Like all events, there’s always a handful of guests who have prior commitments.  Most hosts will completely understand.  They’ve known about your festival for months and (hopefully) know that you won’t be able to pull yourself away from it to attend the shower.  Send a gift, send a card saying that you wish you could have made it, and things will be fine.

Post # 6
4360 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
brendaray2009:  Just talk to her. As of right now, you said they were “shooting” for that particular date. They might move it to another date, but if they choose the Saturday you are unavailable, simply talk to her. I’m sure she’ll understand. You’ve had this prior commitment for months. Things like this happen. Offer to take her out to lunch at a different time and send a card and a gift in your place.

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