(Closed) Ahhh our first +1 when we didn’t invite +1s….

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That is not only very rude but makes me think he might actually be a little slow in general. Guys tend not to listen and single guys have no manners.

Post # 4
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow, not only is he trying to bring a date against your wishes, he doesn’t even know who it will be yet, which I interpret to mean it won’t end up being someone he’s particularly close to.

Sadly, my first unwanted +1 came from my sister who is also my MOH, of all people.  I was not inviting +1’s for kids still living with their parents, and my sister is in college still living with our parents and has no bf, so she fit into that category.  I haven’t yet brought it up with her, but I’m probably going to let it slide after I get enough declines to be sure I’ll actually have the spare room for this unexpected +1.

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We actually tried to accomodate everyone who replied with a plus-one even though that’s not how they were invited. It worked out in the end because we had a lot of declines and the plus-one’s really made our guests have a better time so everyone was happy.

The only downside is that you don’t know who they are gonig to bring, so you could get a crazy punk rock totally pierced misfit like my college age cousin brought. He was nice, but got totally drunk immediatley and said some weird things to my husband including: “So you’re married man, congragaf*c*i*glations!” .. like he knows anything about relationships or marriage or even us!

Post # 6
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Well, we just got a ” +1/2″  from someone who wants to bring their one year old to my son’s “Adult reception”.  People are amazing sometimes.

Post # 7
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That is lame.

Especially if he is a close friend.

I would just talk to him. I am a ridiculously blunt yet non-confrontational person, but if it were one of my male friends I would have to be straight with them, either he comes alone or he doesn’t come at all– no +1 means NO DATE. Period. You could also suggest that if he really really really wants a date he can go as another guest’s date, that way they can hang out etc and not screw with your guest list/venue fire code/budget overages.

I would suggest explaining every little reason to him as simply and clearly as possible. It is like when you write essays in high school, you write them so an idiot can understand 😛

Post # 10
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Is there the possibility that he’s joking?  I know several people that would do that just to give me a hard time, but in the end respect the fact that they couldn’t bring a +1.

Post # 11
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

LOL @ “to be decided last minute like a true male”

what a douche.

Post # 13
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was so angry last week over a similar situation..my fiance’s friend decided to add a plus 1..he calls him and is like we are all booked (airfare, etc.) – My fiance is like what are you talking about?  We didn’t invite you with a guest – So the friend is like okay, maybe I will just go to the church then and the after party and skip the reception..my fiance is like really? who the hell is this random flavor of the month girl that you would skip my wedding for?  People are dumb.

Post # 14
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Seriously guys are clueless when it comes to this type of thing (hello – they think Facebook invites would be okay). My FI won’t even send back RSVPs (I made sure they got sent for his friend’s weddings).

Just call him and tell him that he can’t bring a date – and remind him of your conversation – then tell him they’ll be some single girls there so it won’t be so bad. Plus it’s not like he won’t know anybody since he lives with your parents.

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