Post # 1
So a friend of mine (who lives at my parents house, very long story, sigh) RSVP’d today. I had told him unfortunately there wouldn’t be a plus one for our single guests because of the size of our guest list, the size of our tent, and the cost. He said that was fine, maybe he’d meet someone at the wedding. I also talked to my mom about this and she agreed with our reasoning. I sent out said friend’s invite to my parents place with just his name on it and “we have reserved 1 seat in your honour”. What’s the RSVP I get back? “____’s date – to be decided last minute like a true male”. Umm what?! No. Are you f’ing kidding me?! After I talked to you about it 2 weeks ago, then talked to my mom about it, THEN sent out the invitations, now you’ve decided you get to bring a date?! No. So I had to call my parents, remind them of our rule and get them to relay the message along (he wasn’t home, darn). Jeez louise people!!!
Post # 3
That is not only very rude but makes me think he might actually be a little slow in general. Guys tend not to listen and single guys have no manners.
Post # 4
Wow, not only is he trying to bring a date against your wishes, he doesn’t even know who it will be yet, which I interpret to mean it won’t end up being someone he’s particularly close to.
Sadly, my first unwanted +1 came from my sister who is also my MOH, of all people. I was not inviting +1’s for kids still living with their parents, and my sister is in college still living with our parents and has no bf, so she fit into that category. I haven’t yet brought it up with her, but I’m probably going to let it slide after I get enough declines to be sure I’ll actually have the spare room for this unexpected +1.
Post # 5
We actually tried to accomodate everyone who replied with a plus-one even though that’s not how they were invited. It worked out in the end because we had a lot of declines and the plus-one’s really made our guests have a better time so everyone was happy.
The only downside is that you don’t know who they are gonig to bring, so you could get a crazy punk rock totally pierced misfit like my college age cousin brought. He was nice, but got totally drunk immediatley and said some weird things to my husband including: “So you’re married man, congragaf*c*i*glations!” .. like he knows anything about relationships or marriage or even us!
Post # 6
Well, we just got a ” +1/2″ from someone who wants to bring their one year old to my son’s “Adult reception”. People are amazing sometimes.
Post # 7
That is lame.
Especially if he is a close friend.
I would just talk to him. I am a ridiculously blunt yet non-confrontational person, but if it were one of my male friends I would have to be straight with them, either he comes alone or he doesn’t come at all– no +1 means NO DATE. Period. You could also suggest that if he really really really wants a date he can go as another guest’s date, that way they can hang out etc and not screw with your guest list/venue fire code/budget overages.
I would suggest explaining every little reason to him as simply and clearly as possible. It is like when you write essays in high school, you write them so an idiot can understand 😛
Post # 8
Personally, I just don’t want to have someone at my wedding I’ve never met before. I want to be surrounded by people I love, not someone I’m like “Who the heck is that chick/dude?!”, never mind have to pay $XXX for them to be there. Our tent doesn’t have a heck of a lot of breathing room, so plus ones are just a no go. I’m hoping he wrote that on the RSVP to get under my skin, not because he was serious…
I even told one of my BMs not to bring her invisible BF of 8 months unless he’s willing to come over to my house for dinner at some point before the wedding. I’ve never met the guy!!! Every time we invite him he has an excuse! I saw him ONCE and he wouldn’t make eye contact with me, I don’t get it. She totally agreed though and promised to bring him one night and said that he was looking forward to it. We’re having people over for dinner tonight and she’s coming, guess who isn’t?!
Post # 9
@futuremominlaw: That’s awful. I’m waiting for one of those, but we’ve been pretty clear with our friends with kids that it’s adults only. They’re all really excited to get a night away and have had babysitters booked for months, LOL!
Post # 10
Is there the possibility that he’s joking? I know several people that would do that just to give me a hard time, but in the end respect the fact that they couldn’t bring a +1.
Post # 11
LOL @ “to be decided last minute like a true male”
what a douche.
Post # 12
@JsDragonfly: I’m hoping he’s joking, but on the other hand, he’s not that clever. I think he may be mad I didn’t invite his best friend. HOWEVER I had a brief fling with said best friend and called it off because I met FI!!! Can you say awkward?! The guy cried (and he’s this big mega-tough type guy)!!!! I can barely look him in the eye… Besides, there are plenty of other people that he knows who are coming, so it’s not like he’ll be on his own.
@Kittyachi: That’s exactly the word I wanted to use to describe him. I put a bag at the end though, LOL!
Post # 13
I was so angry last week over a similar situation..my fiance’s friend decided to add a plus 1..he calls him and is like we are all booked (airfare, etc.) – My fiance is like what are you talking about? We didn’t invite you with a guest – So the friend is like okay, maybe I will just go to the church then and the after party and skip the reception..my fiance is like really? who the hell is this random flavor of the month girl that you would skip my wedding for? People are dumb.
Post # 14
Seriously guys are clueless when it comes to this type of thing (hello – they think Facebook invites would be okay). My FI won’t even send back RSVPs (I made sure they got sent for his friend’s weddings).
Just call him and tell him that he can’t bring a date – and remind him of your conversation – then tell him they’ll be some single girls there so it won’t be so bad. Plus it’s not like he won’t know anybody since he lives with your parents.