(Closed) Ahhh…Another RSVP vent…how to tactifully tell someone no!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am having this same problem.

 

I’ve decided that if they out Out of Town friends that they can bring their children. If they couldn’t then they wouldn’t be able to come and if they want to be there then they should be able to.

I just hope the kids don’t cry during the ceremony. its a fear of mine. 0_0

Post # 6
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

depends on how good of a friend she is? some people are touchy about the no kids rule.

Maybe just say “i’m so excited you can come to our wedding but our venue only allows for so many people so to keep the number down we only accounted for kids in the family”

Post # 7
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

Just call her up, apologize for the “misunderstanding” and let her know the invite was actually just for her and her husband. If you need to, explain that only family’s children are invited but I really don’t think you owe her an explanation.

Post # 8
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

and maybe throw in “I hope finding a sitter isn’t too much trouble, i’d really love for yall to be there”

Post # 9
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Tell her exactly what you wrote – that the only children invited are immediate family and that while you wish you could include everyone’s kids it’s just not in the budget.

Post # 11
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Here’s another question for you then >_> Is one kid gonna hurt the budget? Cause you could just let it slide. And I know that’ll make other people whine about bringing their kids, but it’s your wedding and you have the ultimate say in what goes down 🙂

Post # 12
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Ms. Sparkles: are you ok with her kid coming?  

If so – then just let her know it’s ok – but tell her to keep it on the low-down because you aren’t having anyone other than just family bring their kids.  but, you run the risk of others finding out and/or questioning it on the day of (but it’s likely not going to happen that way and you could always play dumb and say ‘well, the child wasn’t invited”.

If not – tell her while you love little ‘x’, it wouldn’t be fair to the other guests who you haven’t invited their kid.  Tell her it was a tough decision to make, but you and Fiance decided to limit inclusion of kids to just family (cousins are family!).  

I was just talking to a friend about this who is a Bridesmaid or Best Man in her friend’s wedding.  Her 2 year old was not invited and she was really offended.  I tried to explain to her the logic behind it (her daughter wasn’t invited to mine) and I think it was the expectation of the invite which really upset my friend.  I guess my point is – your friend is going to be upset because her child wasn’t included where she was expecting her to be… and, it’s not the end of the world.  I didn’t invite my cousin’s daughter and he opted to not attend the wedding – we all have to make choices and decisions…. good luck to you!

Post # 13
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I would just call her up and tell her the situation. Although people want to bring their kids, they just can’t. It won’t sound mean if you are genuine about it and not angry for her putting down 3. If you have an angry tone, then she’ll probably get offended.

Post # 14
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am putting on our invites “we have reserved X number of seats in your honor” but since yours are out already i would call an tell her that you think she an hubs deserve a nice night away from baby and thats why you only invited her and hubs and will they be able to find a sitter so they can have the night to just be grown ups not parents?

Post # 16
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

same thing kind of happened to me. i wanted to put on the rsvp “we have reserved __ seats in your honor” and i would put the number in each blank for each rsvp. but i forgot. so instead where it says __ of ___ will be attending or ___ of ___ will not be attending i put the number of seats i was allowing them in the second blank so they knew. my cousin decided to scribble out the 1 i gave her and wrote in a 2 and put “maybe a guest” on the line. i simply told her “im sorry i put one on your rsvp because we are already at our max for the guest list” and she was a little upset but in the end she just said “ok fine” and she will be coming. its not easy but they should respect the number you put in their invite.

 

and with the kids decision, we made a blanket rule. all of FHs nieces and nephews would be allowed but thats it. (i dont have any yet) so youre keeping it simple. guests cant get mad at you for allowing your family to attend.

The topic ‘Ahhh…Another RSVP vent…how to tactifully tell someone no!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors