- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
I am going to try and make this as short as possible. I have a 17 year old niece, seeing as I’m 26 we grew up more like sisters than Aunt and niece. We’re closer in age than I am with my siblings. I love her dearly but the person she is becoming is making me so upset! She has become the most manipulative, spiteful and hurtful person. She plays victim all the time and manipulates to get her way. She has been making life choices that I strongly disagree with, mostly her boyfriend. He has dumped her a few times to sleep with other girls (I cannot believe I am writing this about teenagers) and has shown abusive tendencies. He has grabbed the phone out her hand numerous times when she won’t answer him and throws it. Plus he did this at a crew meet in front of my mom and his mom and everyone elses mom. He calls and screams at her and calls her names. He’s a jackass. I have talked to my mom, my sister, my brother. It pisses me off they are finding it easier to ‘just let her be’ since she’s almost 18. She has never had structure and has always used people to get what she wants, it started at a young age and I know my brother is to blame fo this but I can’t focus on that, I have to focus on her now. She broke up from him for the tenth time and I told her I was proud of her and it was the right thing. 2 days later she was back with him. I told her I was disappointed in her choice and she comes back at me with your kids were a mistake, your life sucks and so forth. Incredibly hurtful and I cannot count how many times she has made me cry. I never throw things back at her, I try to remain positive and just tell her I love her and want her to make better choices. This happens every time I question her choices, it’s never rational, it’s hurtful. In the past few months, I had my birthday, started my own business and got engaged. I did not hear from her once. It was very hurtful. My niece in MI has been in more contact with me than she has. So I made the choice to not have her in my wedding. I only want people in my wedding who love and support me and are happy for me. I do not want one of these blow ups a few weeks or days before the wedding. I had this discussion with my mom and sister and you would think I was telling them I was going to murder her rather than not including her in my wedding. So all of a sudden out of the blue I get a message from my niece. She addresses every single thing I discused with my mom, pretty coincidental. The problem is I just can’t take her seriously. She says what she needs to say to get back in good graces. I told my mom I didn’t think she wanted to be a part of my wedding because she has made no attempt to. I think she wants to be a part of the wedding but not for the right reasons. What do I do? How do I respond to her? Please help!