Post # 1
So, this past Christmas, there was a misunderstanding of words, and because of some things he said, I thought we were going to get engaged at the holidays. Didn’t happen, but then he promised me that we would be engaged before I graduate. Well, I graduated this past saturday and……….. no proposal. I have been extremely moody and sad since then, as I have been greatly anticipating this and expecting to be engaged by now.
So, sorry if I seem whiny or anything like that. I just had to vent, and I figured I would do it here, because my friends would not understand at all. Maybe since there are a lot of other waiting bee’s out there, at least some of you might understand the frustration? If I told my friends, they would think that I am being silly. Will maybe I am, but I just needed to vent.
Post # 3
I totally understand why you would be sad about this. Obviously, if you are given a specific timeframe and that timeframe comes and goes, it is dissapointing. How long have you guys been together? Have you spoken to your SO about your feelings since graduation?
Post # 4
I don’t think you’re being silly. he said you’d be engaged before you graduated, but you’ve graduated now, and you’re not engaged. It only maked sense that you’re frustrated and wondering why not.
Just ask him, and tell him you’re frustrated. Maybe the ring is just getting adjusted??
I’d be upset too, mostly because he didn’t even tell you that a proposal would have to wait another month (or whatever), so then you got your hopes up and everything.
Post # 5
Do you know if he has purchased the ring yet?
Post # 6
@nutMeg13: Definitely talk to him about it. You need to make sure you’re on the same page here. I also know how it feels to be disappointed. I personally thought I would be engaged by now for sure based on a conversation we had nearly 2 years ago. But I realize he was just giving me an estimate of when he would like to get married, etc. So last month I told him straight up that things had to be clear. And he made an outright promise to me for the first time that an engagement would happen in July. Did your SO make a promise to you or did he mention getting engaged by X date in passing (as mine did originally)?
I really suggest sitting him down and being straight with each other. It helped me a lot.
Post # 7
We have been together nearly 3 years, and he definately promised me that we would be engaged by now. I have talked to him about it, and he says that he hasn’t because of finances, and he wants it to be perfect. Although, I have given him other options for the ring. I told him to forget diamonds, and do moissanite, mstone, or claddagh instead.
However, I have some suspicions. For one thing, he is looking into buying brand new cars (which would be hard if he had no money). Also, yesterday for example, he offered to take me to the Cheesecake Factory, we went to the movies, and this is not uncommon. I brought it up the, that maybe we shouldn’t go to the Cheesecake Factory if he was so on $$$, and he made a comment that I didn’t fully understand things, and said something about how it would ruin everything if he explained everything to me.
Also, I mentioned in a previous thread, that last week he was talking about flights to Europe, then when I saw his computer, he had info for hotels in Italy and the Carribean. When I told him we don’t have passports, he seemed genuinely upset that he forgot.
Yesterday, when I was telling him that I was upset, he made a comment to “cheer up, we are going on a trip soon”. So maybe he DOES hav the ring, and the money. Maybe he said finances are an issue to surprise me. I don’t know, and I am going crazy waiting!
Post # 8
I went through a similar thing.
He may have purchased the ring and he may have not. Sometimes men get stuck on that part of the proposal. Maybe if its not a factor you can tell him how much you want to be with him and how you don’t mind not having a proper ring. Maybe you can pick one out toghether.
Post # 9
Maybe just come out and ask him if he is thinking about it/planning it? That’s what I did. I kept seeing “signs” and thinking he would do it and then get disappointed when he didn’t so I just asked him if he’s thinking about it/planning it because I’m getting frustrated with waiting and he told me not to worry – that it will happen soon. I know it’s hard because you don’t want to ruin any surprise he may have plan – but I think if you explain to him that you have concerns since he has gone back on his timeline before and you just need to know that it will happen soon – it won’t ruin anything. Good luck – hope it happens soon!
Post # 10
Good luck- hope your wait is short.
Post # 11
Why not just ask him point blank what is going on? If you are upset that he hasn’t given you a ring when he said he would, I think you should talk to him about it. I wouldn’t make assumptions about what he is thinking. He might just be planning a nice vaca, it could be something else of course, but I think communication is important.
Post # 12
That would have hurt my feelings too.
Maybe he thought there wouldn’t be any surprise if you knew when it would happen. I don’t know. Men are scary dumb when it comes to emotions sometimes.
I hope everything works out for you sooN!
Post # 13
Because of what he said it sounds to me like he wants to propose on vacation…
And congratulations on graduating!
Post # 14
do not say anything until after your vacation he might have something planned and talking about it could ruin it give him a chance first then if nothing happens it might be time to have a talk you will be so mad at yourself if you ruin his suprise
Post # 15
Don’t say you’ll settle for fake diamonds if you’ve said you wanted something specific this whole time. That could really throw him off and make it take longer!
Post # 16
nutmeg, it sounds like things actually may be moving along. With him planning the trip, getting upset about the passports, etc. it seems like he has something planned… Try to relax and enjoy each day at a time. I know it’s hard, but just try to take a step back and remember that it will happen when it happens and it will be GREAT!