Post # 1
It seems I’m in the toughest waiting stage now. I used to not care… just knowing it’d happen eventually was enough. Now, every time I look at someones facebook pictures of their wedding, status updates on engagement, etc… I feel angry! Like I should’ve been first. It’s so cheesy because I’m really happy with Boyfriend or Best Friend. He is wonderful and he says we’ll be engaged in a year or so, but that I’ve got some time to wait still. I just can’t help feeling like “When will it be my turn?!” He doesn’t realize how bad I want it, and venting to him will push him away… that’s his personality. He does not like to be pushed. I get that.
Recently we’ve discussed our moving in together and how excited I [we?] am [are] to share a home together at the end of the summer. He said he is excited but it’s November! I said “I know, I am just ready to be at the point where I see you EVERY DAY!” he said “I know, me too. But I am a guy and I know it’s not possible right now, so I don’t dwell on it.” He makes me feel silly sometimes for wanting it so bad… but I’m just READY! I’m dying to move in with him, be engaged, be settled in our future. Looking at my ex’s wedding pictures on facebook make me so bummed. I want that. Not that like him, but a wedding and a happy marriage to my best friend!!
My last thought is that, I got the career first… so did my Boyfriend or Best Friend. So many people get the personal success first and the career later. I guess now that I am the career success and so does Boyfriend or Best Friend, I am yearning for the next step.
I’m just venting… but does anyone else have this thing with facebook wedding photos? I can’t stop looking at them, but they make me so bummed out!!!
I hope I can stick to the Christmas challenge and leave the wedding talk to a total minimum.
Post # 3
*Hugs* Some days really suck huh? Men just don’t understand a women’s desire to settle down. But it will all fall into place within the next year right? The xmas challenge will be good… its already doing wonders for my state of mind haha
Post # 4
Totally agree… I’ve had a few breakdowns after seeing people’s FB updates(an ex, and a younger cousin of mine). Not so much weddings, as there have only been 2 or so, but the people were older, so it didn’t bother me as much. It just bugs me when I see people that have been with their SO for like 6 months & they’re engaged!
SO & I are on the same page as you.. we are both finished with school & have our lives set for us, so I think we will be better off in the end! Less struggles, and more solid things to rely on! We are going to have stronger relationships because of these things, so just look at it that way 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t get upset about the engagements, but the baby announcements. 🙁 We’re TTC and it sucks seeing that, especially when the parents are idiots.
Anywho, we are settled like y’all, older 29&32, degrees, jobs (not career for me til I get a new teaching job.LOL), house, savings, CDs Roth IRAs and all that good stuff…just want to add fiance or wife/husband to it.
I swear, if I hear girlfriend one mo gin, at 29yrs old, I’ll scream!
Post # 6
Oh honey I’m sorry. One of my friends got married before me (I was engaged before her and she got engaged and married all while I’ve been engaged 🙁 ) so I know what you’re talking about. She posted statuses about her new marriage every 10 minutes (literally) and it came to me finally having to hide her from my news feed. This way I didn’t see her updates and I didn’t get upset.
Post # 7
Oh I definitely check out FB pics–even if they are of friends of friends whom I do not even know! I love to see the bride’s dress and the whole setup/decorations (I want to be a wedding planner in the nearish future). But it also makes me sad–sad that it is not me. I am so tired of being upset when I see people who have been dating less time that Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have their dream wedding while all I can do is look at their pictures of FB. It really gets me down, and maybe I should just stop looking at them (easier said than done). We are trying to get a house together first, which is great bc I also cannot wait to see him every day, but I will not move in until we are engaged, so even though we are doing the house thing first (supposedly), I still have to wait until I move in (per my own request).
I’m trying the Christmas Challenge, too, and sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is difficult. The other day I got upset because a girl we know who has only been dating her SO for like a year and is now engaged to him, showed me her dress and it is just like what I had in my head for my own (if he ever decides to propose!!). I tried not to be upset in front of my Boyfriend or Best Friend, but I was, and he asked me why and eventually pried it out. So we did end up talking a little bit about it, but I didn’t try to bring it up. I really am trying to be good–I want to enjoy us just being us so that he will do it when it feels natural.
@Noel08: You are totally right, though. It is so much better to get your life in order first before jumping into marriage, because now we are the ones who will have financial security and won’t be bringing so much of that drama into our new life.
@KaitlinHudson: I know what you mean about the status updates. It’s great to mention something wedding-related every once in a while, but those girls who have 3 wedding status updates a day are REALLY ANNOYING!!! I dont CARE that you decided to go with the blue instead of the red or that you made your man wax his eyebrows (that one actually showed up on FB from a bride!)!!!
Post # 8
I’m in the EXACT same situation!! I’ve been with the Boyfriend or Best Friend for just about 2 and a half years. I’m 28 and he’s 31. I made it clear to him that I want to get engaged and married. We do not live together and I will NOT move in with him until there is a ring on my finger. I am sure of my feelings for him and he says that there is no question about his feelings for me but that he’s just not sure if he wants to or is ready to get engaged or married right now. He says he is very happy as things are right now.
My BFF was married for about 3 years and just got divorced this summer. While she was separated she met a really great guy and they dated about 4 months before her divorce was final. She and her new Boyfriend or Best Friend got engaged about a week after her divorce was final and all I could think of was that “It’s not fair, it’s my turn!” Listening to her talk about the upcoming wedding is really hard and all I see everyday are photos of people’s weddings on FB and friends getting engaged. I’m really happy when one of my friends gets engaged or married but I’m SO ready and all of my friends keep asking me when we are going to get married. I’m tired of it all.
I know how you are feeling and am really trying to keep it together but this is the only thing we ever argue about and we’ve been arguing a lot lately.
Post # 9
@lalalalinzii: Hope today is a better day for you