- 9 years ago
It seems I’m in the toughest waiting stage now. I used to not care… just knowing it’d happen eventually was enough. Now, every time I look at someones facebook pictures of their wedding, status updates on engagement, etc… I feel angry! Like I should’ve been first. It’s so cheesy because I’m really happy with Boyfriend or Best Friend. He is wonderful and he says we’ll be engaged in a year or so, but that I’ve got some time to wait still. I just can’t help feeling like “When will it be my turn?!” He doesn’t realize how bad I want it, and venting to him will push him away… that’s his personality. He does not like to be pushed. I get that.
Recently we’ve discussed our moving in together and how excited I [we?] am [are] to share a home together at the end of the summer. He said he is excited but it’s November! I said “I know, I am just ready to be at the point where I see you EVERY DAY!” he said “I know, me too. But I am a guy and I know it’s not possible right now, so I don’t dwell on it.” He makes me feel silly sometimes for wanting it so bad… but I’m just READY! I’m dying to move in with him, be engaged, be settled in our future. Looking at my ex’s wedding pictures on facebook make me so bummed. I want that. Not that like him, but a wedding and a happy marriage to my best friend!!
My last thought is that, I got the career first… so did my Boyfriend or Best Friend. So many people get the personal success first and the career later. I guess now that I am the career success and so does Boyfriend or Best Friend, I am yearning for the next step.
I’m just venting… but does anyone else have this thing with facebook wedding photos? I can’t stop looking at them, but they make me so bummed out!!!
I hope I can stick to the Christmas challenge and leave the wedding talk to a total minimum.