Post # 1
Hi all, we are 22 months away from our wedding so a considerably long time away yet, but there has been something niggling at me! Our hotel offers two free rooms for the parents of the bride and groom for the night of the wedding, however, I have step parents. Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law live very close to the venue so Father-In-Law said they would likely go home and that one of my sets of parents could have the room instead, which was great. However, Mother-In-Law said she wants to give that room to one of her relatives flying over for the wedding. So now I am forced to choose between who to give the other room to, my dad who is paying 10k towards the wedding so he deserves it really, or my mother and stepfather who are on a low income and can’t really afford to pay over almost 200 pounds for it for the night. I know i would have to choose anyway if his parents ended up staying in the room given to them, and I would pay for either set of my parents to . stay at the hotel. Out of principle, however, I can’t help but feel that they should offer it to one of my parents as a gesture, especially as it is my family who are contributing to the cost, and my family agree! AIBU? OH says that as one of the rooms is reserved for his parents, they are technically entitled to do what they want with it.Do I need to just let it go? What do you think? Thanks!
Post # 2
Honestly, given the information you shared with us, both sides of the family (yours and your future husbands) have the right to do whatever they wish with the room they are being given. It would be nice for your future husbands parents to give it up, but they are not obligated to do so, they have their own family concerns to worry about as does yours. Tread carefully, as you want to show equal love and respect towards both sides of the family (as long as it’s returned!) leading up to the wedding. I would actually suggest your father offer the room to your mother and stepfather before you demand your in laws to do so. On the other hand, save up $10 a month until your wedding and treat your other set of parents to a room as a gracious gesture for the support they have undoubtedly given you over the years.
Post # 3
I would let it go and rent one room for my parents. Not worth the bad blood it might cost. I would not have let my in laws know about the room from start but now it’s too late for that
Post # 4
For my room block, MY NAME is on the block and legal obligated to fulfill the rooms. I took both rooms being offered as comp rooms. One for my parents (who are paying for the wedding), and one for me. I did not offer the free rooms up to my future Mother-In-Law because at the end of the day, I’m on the line for the rooms.
Post # 5
Like some of the other bees, my suggestion is to just save up and pay for the other room. With the amount of money your dad is paying, $200 seems like a small price to pay to keep the peace with everyone…with that said, I am irritated your Future Mother-In-Law wants to give away a room that should be dedicated to parents.
Post # 6
Who is paying for the venue? If it’s your parents, then they get to decide.
Actually, I think of this like sending an invitation to a guest. If the guest won’t be attending, they can’t just give their invitation to someone else. The rooms were given to you for free for the parents, not the parents *or* whoever they want to give it to.
Post # 7
my mom paid for our wedding and also got herself a hotel room for 2 nights.
since you already told them, it’s took late to take it back. as i agree with PP, that if your dad paid in full for the wedding, the rooms really belong to him to divy out as he wishes.
that being said, you need 2 rooms for your parents. one is comped, one you have to pay for. pay for it yourself and then let your parents/stepparents they each have a room.
Post # 8
What in the world does AIBU mean????
Post # 9
Am I Being Unreasonable
OP- I’m voting for you to save up to pay for one of your parents’ rooms. Your Mother-In-Law is kind of out of line here but I think having the comped rooms described as being for the parents as opposed to simply saying “two comped rooms” complicates matters. It gives the impression that it’s up to them to decide what to do with their free room, as opposed to saying that it’s for the bride and the groom to use as they see fit. If you have a chance to give them feedback, after the wedding, I’d probably let them know that it would be more inclusive to have a variety of suggested options for how people might want to use the rooms, to head off situations like this in the future:
* getting ready rooms,
* comped rooms for parents or other guests of the couple,
* a honeymoon suite (if you aren’t leaving on a honeymoon vacation right away),
* a room for storing wedding materials and supplies (we attended a wedding where the bride and groom just had things piled in their own suite before and after the wedding. It didn’t make for a very relaxing or beautiful feeling space).
Post # 10
Please tell me your in-laws have contributed to your weddding. If they haven’t and still intend to give the room away I’d tell them sorry, my family needs it. If they did contribute then I’d fork over $200 for a room for your parents
Post # 11
AIBU means “Am I being unreasonable”
Post # 12
They have agreed to pay for the wine (approx £600). My father is contributing £10,000. my mum and stepdad are on a much lower income than the others but want to contribute £2000 for my dress and veil and £1500 to buy every guest a drink. The rest (about £16000) will be paid by OH and I.