(Closed) Alcohol as a wedding gift?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I love the idea of building a good collection of alcohol for home entertaining.  We are champagne and wine people, so if I received a good bottle of either, I would know it was good and I would be very appreciative.  So if you think this couple, even if it’s only groom, will know and appreciate this expensive bottle of scotch, I say GO FOR IT!

Post # 33
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My only comments are:

1. If you don’t stick to the registry, get a gift you know they’ll enjoy.  Sounds like that’s the plan.

2. If you bring it to the wedding, make sure it’s wrapped up tight in a nice box so no one can tell that it’s a big ol’ bottle of booze.  The groom (and bride) may love it, but if Great Auntie Esther sees it on the gift table, who knows what’ll happen! Ha!

3. On the other hand, freaking out Great Auntie Esther might be a good thing…?

Post # 34
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think the gift idea of JW Blue is fantastic!!!  I think so much of weddings and gifts are focused on the bride (yeah, I know as a couple "we" register for towels, but my Fiance couldn’t care less about them), that a gift more for the groom is a great idea.  Plus, after a nice glass of scotch, the future groom may be more apt to sit for the "gift parade." 

Yeah, you could get a less expensive bottle with some glasses, but most people would go out and buy those for themselves.  A more expensive/good liquor (or wine or whatever) people tend not to buy for themselves because it’s a little extravagant, so it’s a great gift option. 

Sorry if my writing is a bit jumbled, I just love this idea! 

Post # 35
Member
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it is a perfectly acceptable gift. I drink scotch, and would love to have that as a nice house warmer.

By The Way, though, this seems like a little teachable moment for Fiance. While I think the Blue Label is fine, I would ask him if he ever thinks his friends is going to eat any food from that blender. If this guy’s Fiance is getting cooking items, how did the friend become the unwilling victim of all that food being made in the house?

Post # 36
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I was just reading Miss Manners, and even she suggests that a case of champagne is a nice wedding gift.  And you are certainly not required to buy something off a registry — what to buy for a gift is 100% up to the giver.  And the only appropriate reply when receiving a gift is "Thank you.  How thoughtful!"

A great bottle of scotch is always a wonderful way to say congrats! (unless it’s a baby shower, or something). 

Post # 37
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I say give cautiously. Before I was older and wiser, I used to give really nice bottles of wine all the time and get them signed by the wine maker (I was in the wine biz) and one time I didn’t even get a thank you note and I know it was becaused the bride was pissed. Is there a smaller sized bottle that’s less expensive you could give, along with another more traditional gift?

Post # 38
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

Go for it. I got a friend a case of his favorite beer. Maybe not the most classy wedding gift, but he really loved the thought that went in to it. (It’s a beer that wasn’t available in his city though so it isn’t as though I just went and bought a case of MGD .)

Post # 39
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m chiming in late here b/c I missed this thread earlier.  My feeling is that I get a little offended when people make comments like "all the registry was for the bride" (and I did long before we got engaged).  Yes, it might be hard to imagine that your college buddy wants a blender, and maybe he doesn’t right now, but the point of wedding gifts, imho, is to help a couple establish themselves.  If the groom really hated the idea of a blender, he should have said so and then he should probably refuse to ever eat or drink anything created with that blender.  Okay, maybe the bride cares more about kitchen stuff than the groom, but presumably the meals created with the kitchen stuff will be consumed by both people, so it’s not really a gift to the bride.  And regardless, I also don’t think it’s fair to pass judgment on the registry and who chose it.  My Fiance was pretty picky about a lot of items on it, so for example, the china pattern we’ve picked out was his choice though I’m sure no one would suspect that.  And By The Way, he’s super excited about a high powered blender for making drinks.

That said, I don’t think that alcohol is a no-no per se.  We got friends of my FI’s a very nice bottle of wine and a nice decanter (which they promptly returned and told us they did so…).  But we knew that they *both* would like the wine.  If you’re talking about buying a bottle of scotch for the *groom* and then appeasing the bride with some glasses, that really doesn’t seem like a wedding gift to me.  I think it’s a nice gesture and if your Fiance wants to give him the bottle before or after the wedding go for it.  But, as someone who hates scotch at any price (incl. JW Blue), it would really bother me if someone addressed a gift to me and my Fiance knowing that I probably wouldn’t like it.  

Post # 40
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My parents did this years ago for a couple where they were much closer to the groom (and the groom and my dad were Scotch-drinking buddies!).  They gave them a nice bottle (I forget what) and some really nice scotch glasses.  The bride didnt’ really care (I think she thought it was funny, iirc), but the groom LOVED it, and noted that, of all the gifts they got off the registry, most were really "for" his wife (kitchen stuff, dishes, etc) and this one was "for" him in a particular way.  I say, go for it!

Post # 41
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Etiquette dictates that attendance at a wedding does not mandate a gift, so I think ANY gift you give would be appreciated (as long as it’s not like… some random re-gift you inherited from Grandma).  You only need one gift from the two of you.  Unless the bride totally abstains from drinking, I don’t think this is offensive or inappropriate at all. 

Post # 42
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2020 - The Grand Old House, Grand Cayman

omg WE got a bottle of johnny walker blue for our wedding!  mr. K’s brother gave it to him at his bachelor party!  i won’t touch the stuff, but i wasn’t offended that the gift is really just for him.

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