(Closed) Alcohol Dilemma

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
FutureBride625:  Perfectly acceptable to have a cash bar, you are providing refreshments to your guests, if they NEED to have something alcoholic the option to purchase is still available.

We’re doing something very similar, host non-alcoholic and anything alcoholic will be served at cost (we’re not looking to make a profit off of the bar).

Post # 3
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say dry wedding or pay for access to beer and wine only (which should cost much less than a full bar) – cash bar is a no…

Post # 4
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would provide beer/wine- maYbe you can pay on a consumption basis instead of per person? I would not do a cash bar- my people and my Fiances would not be pleased. It would be the only thing people would likely talk about after the wedding- “it was nice but wtf cash bar?” Because it’s alwats an open bar at weddings we attend. whats normal where you’re from? I think offering beer/wine is a good compromise that’s easier on the wallet for you.

Post # 5
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Consider a compromise- drink tickets.  First round or two is on you, but after that people can pay for their own liquor.

Post # 6
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

My Fiance & I don’t drink. However, our families and friends do drink. So, we’ll be having an open bar because while it is our wedding, I don’t feel like it’s right to put my lifestyle decisions on the guests. It’s the same reason we’re not doing an all vegetarian menu either.  But, that’s just my opinion and how my wedding scenario is playing out.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong here. Just different strokes for different folks.

As another PP mentioned, you could offer a wine and beer bar.

Post # 7
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

All the weddings I’ve been to (I’m from England) including my own have had a cash bar. At our wedding we provided one drink each (plus a toasting drink) for everyone during the sit down meal but all other drinks were bought by our guests at the bar. 

I personally don’t see any problem with a cash bar and I would never go to a wedding without money. If I don’t need it then that is a nice surprise.

Maybe you could provide a little bit of alcohol for those who like a drink but then the rest is a cash bar.

Post # 8
11525 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

In your situation, and in my own, I would (and did) opt to have a “dry” wedding.  The only alcohol that we offered was a choice of sparkling cider or champagne for our toast (and that occurred after very heavy hors d’oeuvres were served.)

We had an open bar featuring sodas, juices, and iced tea served in pretty stemware, and we had amazing food. Your guests are coming to your wedding to celebrate your marriage, and they will have a wonderful time doing so regardlesss of whether or not you choose to make alcoholic beverages available to them.

Post # 9
58 posts
Worker bee

Please consider at least serving beer and wine at your reception.

Post # 10
6401 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
FutureBride625: I would say it totally depends on where you’re from and what is the norm. If cash bars are common in your social circle (they are common in lots of places, Inc where I’m from (England), then I see no issue. If they’re not, I would go with a dry wedding, or compromise and offer some alcohol (eg drinks with the meal). You certainly don’t have to have alcohol though, esp in the circumstances. 

Post # 11
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

I like the previous suggestions to consider having an open beer/wine bar to cut costs.

If that is out of your price range, I would go with the cash bar, regardless of whether this is common in your circles or not.

As a guest, I would much rather have the choice of paying for my own drink than being told “no alcohol whatsoever.”

Post # 12
49 posts

I agree with BelliniChic.  If I were going to a wedding, I would totally understand not having an open bar, and wouln’t mind paying for my own alcohol if I wanted it.  I think it’s great to have the option there, but I don’t seen a need to pay for people to go crazy at the bar if it’s not in your budget or something that’s important to you.  

We are having beer and wine for everyone, and that alone helped cut the cost down instead of having a full open bar.  

Post # 13
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d prefer to go to a wedding with a cash bar rather than a dry wedding.  But have you thought about having only wine and beer? 

Post # 14
1378 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

I’m going to go against the standard Bee response.  Since you are not 21 yet I see no reason why you should pay for alcohol.  I would much prefer a wedding where I had the option to buy alcohol versus one with no option.  Where I am from it is standard to have a cash bar.   I have been to many weddings where I have paid even for my own wine.  Do what you feel is best overall.  I do think you are holding the “ace” for any decision you make since you are under age.  

Post # 15
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Tarp Chapel

If you are under 21 than you should feel no obligation to serve alcohol! If I was going to somebody under 21’s wedding I wouldn’t expect alcohol.

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