(Closed) Alcoholic Mother In Law—Advice needed…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I haven’t dealt with an alcoholic parent, though I do know the challenges that come from dealing with an addicted love one.

If he hasn’t, I HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest your fiance check out Al-Anon.  It’s a 12 step program for people with loved ones who are alcoholics.  It’s a great program to learn how to deal with the multitude of feelings that come from having an addicted loved one in your life.  

I’m not sure where you live, though they have groups all over the United States at least.  And if he’s not able to/not comfortable going to in-person meetings, there’s lots of online groups/message boards.

Him getting support would be so so valuable.  Dealing with addiction is not something someone can do on their own, and a support system can make an amazing difference. 

Post # 4
6 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so sorry you are dealing with this! My Future Mother-In-Law is also an addict… not just to alcohol but to other substances as well. She is also unemployed, and happens to be very emotionally abusive. My fiance is an only child, so unfortunately all of her crazy falls on him. She came down with bronchitis last year, and my fiance spent $200 on the prescrips she needed. When he went to drop them off he found a case of beer and a bag of weed on the counter. She’d spent all her unemployment income on getting high. I was PISSED. He was just sad.

So please know you are not alone in this. But I can also tell you that getting some counseling ourselves has helped immensely. I would recommend Al-Anon. We have accepted that she has to hit rock bottom before she’s willing to get help. And we have also accepted that we are the ones keeping her from hitting that low. It has also greatly helped my fiance realize that he can’t fix all of her problems, and it’s helped him through this. You will never be able to force her to be the mother she should be. But you can keep it from effecting your life and your relationship as much.

With all that said, your brother-in-law is probably dealing with more of her problems than anyone. He has had to deal with the day to day consequences of her actions. So whether or not he moves in with you, he’s going to need help too. You can get resources by contacting your local human services office or calling your local chapter of the United Way.



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