(Closed) Alerting others of a death in the family

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think facebook is a terrible way to notify anyone of anything more important than a cute picture of you at a party or what you ate for lunch today (engagements, weddings, deaths, pregnancies, serious illness). That sort of thing should be done in person, over the phone ect. unless you are not close with the people involved.

I think it is reasonable for your brother to be upset, but that he is not acting appropriately. He should not be screaming at your uncle and demanding to see his grandfather. If he acted like an adult your uncle would probably be more accomodating. I would tell your brother that if he is polite he is more likely to get what he wants. 

ETA: I also think your uncle is being reasonable in saying that he can’t personally notify everyone about an event like a death in the family. A compromise would be setting up a phone chain. Perhaps your uncle can call your brother, and then your brother can be responsible for personally notifying the rest of the family before it gets posted on facebook.

Post # 4
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree that I get that your brother is upset, but he’s seriously overreacting. If he wasn’t close with your great uncle, it’s a weird reaction to have. Grief does weird things to people, but how do you grieve a person you didn’t really know? Then again, I always think the worst in people (and unfortunately, experienced it when my grandpa died)–was your great uncle rich or something? But no, he should not be screaming or demanding anything from your uncle. That’s not a great way to get what you want.

I think your uncle is being pretty reasonable in both saying that he can’t realistically let everyone know personally about things like this. Death is HARD on people. When my grandpa passed away, my grandma told those close to them (my aunts and mother, me, her sister) and kind of let everyone else spread the word for her. 

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