(Closed) ALL BEE's HELP!!! *long post*

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9918 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

She needs to know that ABSOLUTELY he is off limits…and then Mission X Finds a Boyfriend has to begin!  Get that girl involved with a million people (safely) to get her over your HUSBAND…because, um, he’s your husband!!!  wtf!!!  

 

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
9918 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@celiablue:  She wouldn’t do what anyway?  

What would you do if she were in love with someone else she couldn’t have?  You’d support her, and try to help her find someone else.  Do that, and um…I wouldn’t want her around my husband.  1. I wouldn’t want ANYTHING he did to give her false hope and 2. It would suck for her.

Post # 7
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@celiablue:  Yikes. I would discuss this with your husband to start with. Then at least he will be on the same page as you, and he can watch how he acts around her so he doesn’t mistakenly give her the wrong idea or something.

You could try telling her how he does X, Y, Z that is totally against what she stands for, or she’d be driven crazy by X habit of his, etc. I am not sure if this will work, but maybe if they do have fundamental differences then she can get him out of her head.

I think she knows nothing could happen and has no intention of trying to start something with him since she told you about it… but this is terribly awkward I must say. You’re handling this very well!

I think it’s just a crush… like if she doesn’t actually know him all that well, she just has a bunch of fantasies in her head… not with the real him if you know what I mean.

Post # 8
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@celiablue:  this is her issue. you cannot do anything for her. your husband cannot do anything. Honestly, she should not have even told you. 

I mean, it’s been 2 years. She has been heartbroken that long ? to someone she hasn’t even had sex with ? 

Post # 9
Member
13 posts
Newbee

@karineh:  Thats another thing I don’t understand! How could she feel this way for TWO YEARS? he never even talks to her, so I think she is overdramatizing this whole thing. Maybe she just thinks she’s been in love with him that long, when really she’s only been attracted.

Post # 10
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

OMG I woudl die! It sounds like she has a screw lose! I can’t imagine being THAT in love with someone who has never been interested in me and is married to my best friend! Maybe my friends just don’t date my type of guy though!  

I guess it’s nice she told you although that is SO awkward! Maybe you could convince her of how your husband isn’t all that he’s cracked up to be?! haha jk (sorta!) I’d do anything in my power to make her hate him!

I’d say she’ll get over it soon, but clearly not since it’s been going on for quite some time. Does your husband have a brother by any chance?! Would he be willing to be cloned?! 😉 

Post # 11
Member
13 posts
Newbee

@MrsWBS:  No brother, but I’m not going to rule out cloning. I did tell her he has to do this gross sinus thing where drains the snot out with a netti pot. thats how I got her to stop crying. I guess there is a somewhat humorous side to this (not for her obviously).

 

Post # 12
Member
13 posts
Newbee

using different account now. lol already forgot the password to my first fake one. now using new one (my sisters actually)
 

Post # 13
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ohcecelia15:  lol omg sorry that is gross and would totally make me not be in love with him anymore – hope it worked! 😉 I feel kind of bad for your friend because she’s obviously struggling with this and it really sounds like maybe she could use a therapy session or two?! I’ve gotten over long-term relationships faster than she’s gotten over your husband!

Post # 14
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Her issue, not yours— but I personally wouldn’t trust her within a foot of him though. Maybe the friendship needs to come to an end?

Post # 15
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would suggest she sees a counselor

Post # 16
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

For your own sake (and hers), I would have to slowly break-off the relationship.  Your friend can’t seem to get over the fantasy/crush and it isn’t healthy.  I’m a big believer in you can control who you crush/love/like.  I know not to put myself in a compromising position of falling for a married man/bad boy/etc so why can’t someone else know NOT to fall in love with a friend’s husband?

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