(Closed) All BM’s hate the dress, HELP

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I like the daivds bridal dress but as a big breasted chick and having tried on the dress, I know its not very flattering… i do love the other choice you picked and i think it will go well with the boots, so i would take it to your sister and sees what she says… i would say something like, i understand you have this vision but we were wondering if you would consider this dress that alot of us think would be a great contender. Or atleast thats what i would want to hear lol

Post # 4
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Try compromising and explain to your sister that not all women are the same shape/size. Ask her nicely to choose at least one other dress so there are two options in the same color for each bridesmaid to choose between. Then everyone can choose the good one 😉

Post # 5
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You may want to take some photos of a couple of you in the DB dress and then in another dress that fits the theme while still flattering you.  Show her the photos. That should help her realize there may be better choices based on the girls’ body type.  Don’t be afraid to get creative with camera angles and lighting to, ahem, accentuate how unflattering the DB dress is.

Post # 6
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Going against the grain here but I firmly believe this isn’t about you or the other BMs. Whatever dress the bride picks you grin and bear it. Then when it’s your turn you can choose whatever you like.

Post # 7
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly, I’d have been kind of annoyed had my sister forwarded another dress to all the other BMs to see if they liked it better.  I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man this July and don’t care for the dress, but have never told the bride because thats not really my place.

However, if she MUST be told, I guess her sister is the one to do it.

Post # 8
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My friend picked a dress that I find absolutely disgusting. Did I tell her? Nope. I smiled and will smile wearing it on her day. Will I be happy to wear the dress? Not really. But I sure will act like it! 🙂

This day is not about you or the bridesmaids….it is about your sister, the bride, and honestly if I already had my heart set on a dress for my girls I would be highly ticked if someone were to send me links to other dresses.

Post # 9
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Legallyblondiebride:  Agreed.

Wear the dress the bride picked and rock it 🙂

Post # 10
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wear what she picked with a smile on your face

Post # 11
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsElopement:  I have to agree, the wedding isn’t about the BM’s and if they like the dress or not. Personally I like the DB dress over the other one.  If I was the bride in this situation I would be very upset if one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man took it upon themselves to find some other dress. 

 

Post # 12
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I actually had to wear this dress for my brother and SIL’s wedding. It surprisingly looked much better in pictures and I’m fuller chested.

The other angle you might want to play is that the cotton sateen looks a little formal and I can’t imagine it with cowboy boots. You may want to present the other dress as well as a few others to your sister and go with the angle that it may go better with the theme.

By The Way, not sure what the colors in the wedding are, but I have it in black in an 8 if you or another Bridesmaid or Best Man is interested.

Post # 13
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsElopement:  +1

My sisters found dresses and colors they liked better — sorry, you had your day and if you need to get married again someday, maybe you can have another one, but I’m not interested in making my day match your vision.  And I was not terribly happy to find out that they had gotten together to look at dresses when they knew I had already chosen one — your sister might not be either.

I wore the dresses they asked me to without comment even though neither of them were flattering on me or anything I liked.  That is the way this wedding thing works.  Girls get on time in their life that they get to have a day look the way they want it to, with the theme or feel or whatever that they want to create.  

Post # 14
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s only one day, you’ll be fine. It’s her day and this is what she wants. Don’t add stress to her

Post # 15
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I should have added more to my post. But I picked a dress for my BMs I loved and was very flattering, and they complained non stop until I gave them an untimatium. Its the brides day, and part of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is wearing a dress you might hate. Haven’t you seen 27 dresses? lol.

This day is about your sister, and that second dress might not look good if someone has bigger hips, and maybe look young for someone older.

Post # 16
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would be devastated if my attendants disliked the dress but were afraid to tell me. These are the women to whom I am closest, not only would I hate that they felt the need to keep it from me, but it’s important to me that they all look gorgeous . Honestly, why should they be the only guests forced to wear something they didn’t chose? They’re bridesmaids because they’re so important to the bride, right? It’s a collaboration, and helpful that you’re going to her with alternate options. End of the day, bride has the final say, but there’s no reason not to discuss it.

ETA: I don’t see how the second dress would flatter a large bust or work with cowboy boots, so I wouldn’t expect her to go for it, but hopefully it will lead to a helpful discussion. 

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