(Closed) All but one of my 4 BM is helping me with the wedding

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you are a little too far out to expect them to do too much. Their main responsibilty is to get the dress and show up on time. A shower/bachelorette party is often usually planned. Beyond that they are not help. It is not their job to help you research things or do misc. crafts, unless they care to do it.

Once you get closer to the wedding they be offering to help more too. Mine checked in here and there to make sure i didn’t need help, but just now got really involved in things.

Post # 4
5842 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

We have the same wedding date and I don’t expect my Bms to do anything yet. We’ve started talking bachelorette party but I think its pretty early to expect them to be involved. 

Post # 5
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think everyone has different expectations of their bridesmaids and it’s important to communicate yours to them.  At this point you’re quite a ways out, so I’m sure they’ll step up later if you give them specific things you need help with.  I personally wouldn’t like it if somebody was just like… keep an eye out for stuff for my wedding.  But, if somebody was like… hey, come over and we’ll drink wine and stuff my invites, I’m in.

Post # 6
2738 posts
Sugar bee

Oh please, my friend’s wedding date was in May of 2010. By July of 2009, she was a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS because she was stressing all of us for dress and shoes and make up and stuff. I’m not saying you are doing the same thing, but I was getting about 10 emails a day for a wedding that was almost a year away. I know it’s hard, but your wedding is more important to you than your bridesmaids. Do what you can, delegate if you can, endure the rest.

Post # 7
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@chelle4381c: I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I understand exactly what you’re going through. I feel the exact same way w/ my girls. Unfortunately, I did not let them know a year ago what I expected of them down the road and it came back to bite me on the ass. You do have a few months to go, and like Sapphire said hopefully they’ll start standing up to the plate as time goes on. If there are certain things you expect of them you need to let them know now. It’s hard to understand why others may not be as excited about your wedding as you are, but you don’t need people stressing you out either. I would politely ask again if they’re still up for the task of Bridesmaid or Best Man, that you would like to know so you can get your ducks in a row as far as dresses, etc. & go from there. You should give them a couple months and see if they come around.

Post # 9
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have 4 BMs and one of them is doing the bare minimum (getting her dress and shoes). She may be late to the rehearsal and hasn’t helped the other girls out with the shower and bachlorette party they planned. While it hurts a bit, I’m just trying to remember that some people are able to be more involved than others and I’m thankful for the girls who are putting out so much effort!

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