(Closed) All Married Bee's What is your advice about the wedding day?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@mnhix:  Haven’t had a wedding yet but I have been in one recently. Are you having assigned seating? 

My friend did not. She wanted things to be more casual. That’s probably the way I’d prefer to do it too.

HOWEVER.
It would probably be easier for everyone if your table had assigned seats. Her parents are divorced because her dad cheated on her mother. So… she didn’t want to sit next to him (understandable.)

The caterer took charge for some reason, and kept telling her to go sit “over there” pointing to where her ex husband was. She was saying, “No I want to sit near my daughter.”

It’s not a HUGE deal, but if I was her mother I’d be really upset. I don’t want to be pusehd all the way to the end of the table. I want to be near my kid! 

Post # 4
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

Bump

Technically BUHP I guess. Haha! 

Post # 5
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

So much advice.

I just got married- Sept. 28th, 2012. it WAS the best day of my life. So here you go…

While planning the wedding, three recommendations:

1) HIRE TALENTED PEOPLE, and then GET OUT OF THEIR WAY

Every girl has a fantasy about her wedding day. My strong advice is to let this go at the beginning of the process, because you can always go back to your ideas later. Examples:

Go to a wedding dress shop that has good reviews or is known to be very professional, and let the sales-person pick out a few different styles of dress that HE OR SHE thinks will suit you. Why? Because this is their job, they do this ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY. You don’t think a ballgown would suit you? You dream of a mermaid style dress? Hold on before giving your opinion, and see what the professional picks out for you. Then try the dress on. So many girls, after trying on a dress they never thought would look good on them, look amazing. It happened to me- I wore a stunning all lace dress on my wedding day that I never would have picked out for myself. A good salesperson sees girls with every type of figure trying on every type of dress. Likely as not, they will know what will look good on you. And if you think you already know what suits you, well, how many times have you had to wear a long, white dress in your life? Hopefully not too many times!

Another example is makeup. I love makeup. I watch youtube tutorials, I have a LOT of makeup and tools. But I am not a pro. I haven’t spent years doing makeup, I haven’t gone to beauty school or had lessons. Chances are, neither have you. So go and have a trial and see what the makeup artist does. Trust a pro to make you look beautiful, and remember that wedding makeup SHOULD look ridiculous when you are wearing jeans and a t-shirt. You should look overdone. Because the makeup has to coordinate with your glamourous dress, your hair, etc. You are supposed to be the MOST DRESSED UP YOU WILL EVER BE IN YOUR LIFE- provided you are having that type of wedding. Of course, you have to like the pros you are working with, but trusting people to do a good job takes a lot of the worry out of it.

In summary, allow talented people to show you their talents. Let people help you- you don’t want to do this all yourself! Sacrifice petty details for the sake of your sanity- who cares if the font on your invitations isn’t the one you dreamed of- your Mom wanted to help, you let her take charge of that task- and now they are done! Hooray you have your wedding invites! The “glass half full” attitude is what you want here. And as many jobs as you can afford to give over to professionals, do so. Makes life easier, and your wedding more beautiful.

2) IF YOU ARE NOT CRAFTY, DO NOT DIY!

First off, may I say I am so impressed with the ladies on this site, and on pinterest, who make lots of pretty things with their own two hands. Hats off to you! However, being realistic, most people are not that talented or passionate about crafts. Frankly, DIY is very trendy at the moment, probably for two reasons: 1- There is a global recession on, and everyone wants to save money. 2- People want to make their wedding “special/ personal/ unique/ our own”, etc, and with sites like facebook, pinterest, etc, the pressure is on to have special photos or do something “new.”

Ask yourself- “Do I do DIY decorations in my normal life?” Do you? Do you make paper flowers and cover mason jars in glitter and collect vintage tea cups for birthday parties, house dinners, friend’s showers? If the answer is “No,” then let me be the first to very politely ask you: “Why the hell would you consider doing this for your WEDDING?” You wouldn’t, unless you were crazy, or unless you believed those tricky pinners and bloggers who say- “it only takes 5 minutes!” It never take 5 minutes. While trying new things and experimenting are great, for your wedding day, it is a recipe for needless stress and possible disappointment. At the very least, follow the old wisdom of “twice the money, half the stuff.” A great rule to follow when planning a trip, an event, and most big things in life. Be prepared to pay twice what you think you will need, and cut out half the stuff you think you want. Or at least aim for that! It will reduce your stress considerably. 

3) THERE IS NO NEED TO RE INVENT THE WHEEL

Yes, I understand that people want to make their wedding day “them.” I know people want to stand out, and be unique. So please do not take this the wrong way, because I love when I see someone really and truly being who they are and letting it shine, even if it is not “traditional.” But, a Wedding is full of tradition for a reason. Marriage is a tradition. And it IS more than just about two people. If you are having a wedding with friends and family, then you are making a statement that this is an important day, these people are important to you, and you want them there to share your joy. If you elope, fair enough! But a traditional wedding is not really about being a princess for a day, it is about two people, and beyond that two families, and beyond that two groups of friends, joining together. And this means that, sometimes what is important to others IS more important than your personal preferences. 

I recently read an interesting post about bridezillas, mom-zillas, bridesmaid-zillas, etc. Think about it- these words are all very new to the English language, and though weddings and big events have probably always brought stress since the dawn of humankind, the reality is that nowadays we take perfectionsim and showmanship to the extreme. 

Most of the time, the way people have been doing something for a long time is done that way for a reason: it works. Most of the time, traditional vows are beautiful and powerful. Most of the time, when a minister/ priest/ rabbi etc. officiates the ceremony, it feels official. Most of the time, cutting the cake, tossing the boquet, exchanging rings, reading traditional readings, etc- WORKS. Writing your own vows, having your friend Bob who was certified online do the ceremony, etc, CAN BE FANTASTIC- but I would be lying to you if I said I feel that this is an easy solution to personalizing your wedding. A lot of the time, it doesn’t work. Bob may stumble through your wedding. I was at a wedding where a girls’ friend was officiating the ceremony and got very emotional and burst into tears- she was also obviously nervous- and it was awkard for all involved, the poor bride was trying to calm her officiant down! Breaking from tradition can be wonderful, but if you do, think about why you are, and if it is truly important to you. Forget about what other people think- unless you have strong feelings about it, just go with tradition- it can be so moving and lovely.  Your wedding will always be “you,” YOU are getting married!

SO, IN CONCLUSION-

-Enjoy the day. It flies by.

-Let Marriage be your aim, not a perfect wedding. Chances are you will reach this goal. 🙂

-Use professional help, and remember, you probably do NOT know better than the pro (I say probably, I know you have to search for someone you can work with, shares your vision, etc).

-Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Hope this helps! LUCK AND LOVE TO ALL THE BEES!

 

 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

-Don’t sweat the small stuff because things you did not plan for will happen.

-Try to enjoy alone time with Darling Husband

-USE your BM’s and Maid/Matron of Honor, mine were phenomenal on the wedding day and I couldn’t have made it through without them.

-Make sure who ever is walking you down the aisle won’t trip on your dress lol

That pretty much sums it up. Enjoy your special day because it does fly by J

Post # 7
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Three things:

*pass off the control to someone else and just enjoy yourself! You’ve already done everything you can do.

*stay with your groom the whole night so you have the same memories.

*stop what you’re doing every 15 minutes or so and try to soak it all in!

Post # 8
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Take a few moments throughout the day to just pause, look around you, smile, and really soak in all that is going on. I know it’s SO cliche, but they day will be gone before you know it so really make an effort to appreciate every last second, even if something goes wrong! Also, don’t have an expectation that it will be 100% perfect. SOMETHING will go wrong. I had probably 3-5 things go wrong and I couldn’t care less!

Post # 9
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Good grief. I just re-read the question. I am an idiot. ENJOY THE DAY! So sorry, I thought you were asking about planning the wedding. My sincere apologies! Basically, what everyone else said- enjoy enjoy enjoy and try to take it all in! Hugs and best wishes!

Post # 10
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Make sure you hire a day of planner!! last min details worries should be the last thing on your mind!

I know it sounds weird but Make sure you EAT!! that is the #1 advice that alot of people told me.. they said the day of things are hectic, everyone wants to talk to you that its really hard to just sit and enjoy your meal. my husband and I made it a pt to sit by ourselves and just enjoy the FOOD we paid so much for lol ..thats why we opted for a sweetheart table too rather than w the wedding party.

Make sure your shoes are comfy else bring an extra pair!! I had a pair of ferragamo’s for the pics but they would NOT hold up to dancing so soon as I could I plopped on a pair of wedges and danced the night away!

SMILE AND ENJOY, you’ve worked hard for this day!!

Post # 11
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just enjoy the day… I agree with a lot of the comments… don’t sweat the small stuff… little things might go wrong, but you’ll be on such a natural high you won’t worry about it… Our DJ forgot that I was walking down the aisle to a different song that what the bridesmaids were walking to… the coordinator at the venue caught it and it got straightened out immediately which leads to the next point : Good Vendors are key likesalmonofmarriage said… Our vendors were raked high around the twin cities for weddings and the exceeded our expectations… Try to enjoy the day and take “mental pictures”. My friend gave me some advice before the wedding , he said if there’s a moment you really want to remember, mentally tell yourself “I’m going to remember this” it helps!!!  salmonofmarriage  also said it best… It’s about the marriage and what this day represents to you and your future husband!!  So enjoy!!

 

Congrats and good luck to you!!!

Post # 12
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

1.  Let other people handle day-of issues that arise and tell them “whatever you decide will be fine” (if it takes any thought at all).  All the planning you do before the wedding day should kick in – and, if it doesn’t -there isn’t much you can do about it at that point except to go with the flow.

2.  FOCUS on yourself and Darling Husband and let getting married be your guide.  Yes, you will be gracious to your guests, thank them for celebrating with you – but focus on the reason you are there – your new spouse and celebrating YOUR love together. 🙂  Be present in that vs focused on wedding details on the day!

3.  Pause as often as you can to take it all in.  I padded my timeline with 30 minutes wherever I could and I was so grateful!  I wanted 30 minutes to myself before the wedding and thought I could do it – but after family members were more than 30 minutes late for my side pictures, it ate away at that and I didn’t stick to my guns about it.  I really wish I had those moments to myself, but it didn’t happen.

4. I also wish I stopped and paused more before walking down the aisle.  I thought I paused a long time in my head – but on the video it was seriously like 2 seconds (if that).

 

Post # 13
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Leave the house early enough! Get ready with plenty of time to spare. Not for the wedding day, but make sure you are airtight on the rehearsal/how the ceremony will go.

Post # 14
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My mom bought a fruit platter and a bunch of yogurt so we would have healthy snacks while we were getting ready. Brilliant idea.

Expect things to go wrong, but remember that at the end of the day you’ll be married, and that’s all that’s important.

Know your wedding party- the people in ours tend to run late for everything so we told them all to be there an hour before they needed to be (without telling them that) so we’d all be ready on time.

Make sure you have your phone charger (because for whatever reason, people who get lost or confused are going to call you) and someone who can handle giving directions over the phone.

ENJOY it, because it really goes so, so fast.

Post # 15
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Get up and enjoy the day.  Whatever happens, will happen. It’s about marrying your best friend and celbrating with family and friends.  All else is just fluff.

 

Post # 16
Bee
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence

Rehearse EVERYTHING. We had a major screw-up mid-aisle walk because we didn’t rehearse every detail and then all of a sudden everyone went flying down the aisle before we were really ready. So rehearse it all, and make sure everyone listens when you say HEY WAIT!!

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