(Closed) All my siblings are in wedding except me, how to handle the drama?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think you need to not help stir up any drama about its and leave it at you weren’t asked. It would appear your brother is a dramatic person so there is no need to fuel that fire because then it makes a messy feud thing that other people get pulled into and it’s so not worth it.

Post # 4
Member
46370 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There will only be drama if you cause it. If you are asked, you could say that you werent asked, or you could just say- Everyone cant be in the wedding party, someone has to be a guest.

Post # 5
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would assume that your brother told his fiance that you would say no if you were asked and that’s why she didn’t ask you.  If he and his fiance are anything like me and my husband, they tell each other everything, and rightfully so.  I know it really hurts when you’re the only one left out of a wedding party because I had it happen to me once, but you did specifically say that you did not wish to be a part of it.  If anyone asks about it, just tell them that you are not in the bridal party because you did not wish to be, because that is the truth, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  My best friend didn’t want to be a part of my wedding party either and I was fine with his choice.

Post # 6
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

If anyone asks you, I would just tell them that you weren’t asked by your brother or his fiance to be in the wedding. It’s the truth.

Post # 7
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

You went out of your way to tell your brother not to ask… Sounds like you got what you wanted. 

Post # 8
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

So…you told your brother you don’t want to be in the wedding, and you weren’t asked, so at least that’s not an issue! I guess it would be upsetting to be the only family member not in the wedding if you feel other guests are going to judge you for it, but you asked to not be in the wedding anyway.

If anyone does ask about, you can either be honest and say “I didn’t want to be in the wedding because of brother,” or you can lie and say “I didn’t want to be in the wedding for financial reasons/work commitments, etc.”

I don’t think you should say you weren’t asked, because if that gets back to your brother, then you are the one stirring up drama – you said you would refuse if you were asked to be in the wedding, so you not being asked is your choice, not your brother’s.

Post # 9
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Natski88:  umm this

You can just say you had other commitments like what a PP said. You do know that you DONT HAVE TO give people an answer, right? You owe them no answers.

Post # 10
Member
7750 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just tell the truth, “I prefered not to be in the bridal party”. If people press you on that (or you feel like stirring), explain that your brother dropped out of your bridal party so you prefered not to be in his.

I think it’s kind of dishonest to say they didn’t ask you. While it is true they didn’t ask you, that’s not the reason. The reason is you asked not to.

Post # 11
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am confused about this post. You never wanted to be in the wedding party and you are not. Isn’t that what you requested? Isn’t that good? How had you originally planned on explaining the situation when you told your brother you wouldn’t be in his wedding?

I agree with the PP who said you should not say you weren’t asked since that would just cause more drama and it makes it sound like they are at fault. I would just go with the “you had other commitments” explanation.

Post # 12
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you should feel relieved you weren’t asked because you didn’t have to deal with saying no. You don’t really need to clarify anything for anyone if asked. Just say you weren’t asked because that’s the truth.

Post # 13
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

Sooo.. you told your brother you would say no if you were asked to be in the wedding and now you are upset because you weren’t asked?  I’m confused.. Obviously you and your brother don’t have the best relationship so it makes sense not to be in the wedding party. I would drop the whole thing, just show up on the day and put a happy face on and congradulate them. Not worth the drama to do anything else. If anyone asks why you weren’t in the wedding party just say it didn’t work out and leave it at that… do not go into the details at their wedding about why you werent.

Post # 14
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You were going to say no anyways so I don’t get what the big deal is here. It sounds like to me that may ha ve encouraged them not to ask you. Second of all why would multiple people be asking? I don’t think anyone pays massive attention to who is in the wedding party.If anyone ask tell them you didn’t want to be in it, end of story.

Post # 15
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am not sure why anyone would ask you why you weren’t in the wedding party. If they do then simply say someone had to be a guest and leave it at that as a PP suggested.

Post # 16
Member
7412 posts
Busy Beekeeper

This post is confusing as others have pointed out. 

The topic ‘All my siblings are in wedding except me, how to handle the drama?’ is closed to new replies.

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