(Closed) All of our friends are getting engaged ahhhh!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

Maybe he is tryng to get a ballpark figure of how much he needs to save IF he hasnt already bought a ring. Maybe you could bring up the topic in a non-pushy way.

Post # 4
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

im going through the same thing… wait a little bit (e.g. dont push the envelope). he’s talking about it with you so its not like he’s running the other way from the idea of engagement/marriage, so let him get there on his own terms.  If a lot of time passes and you feel you’re not making ‘progress’ towards marriage and thats what you want in terms of committment, then you should bring it up. theres an undefined, intangible balance between pushing too much and not voicing what you awnt out of a relationship (it isnt 1900, you can be vocal ). 

 

The best advice:  Focus on enjoying your relationship in the present, he will ask when he’s ready, and you don’t want him before he’s ready 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I didn’t want to pressure him into going ring shopping when we first started talking about marriage, but I really wanted him to know my taste.  So, I brought it up to him in that way… learning my taste in jewelry for future reference… ta da… magic!!

So, I went e-ring shopping by myself!  I went to a few of the popular jewelry sites and found 5-6 rings in the style that I loved and tried on at the mall without Boyfriend or Best Friend to make sure that I liked them. 

I sent him an email (that he knew was coming… I wouldn’t advise sending one unannounced!!) with the pictures of each ring. I told him what I liked about each ring, how much it was, and the website where he could go look at it. 

Then… I hit send… and dropped the issue!!!  It worked well, I got to try on rings, and Boyfriend or Best Friend didn’t feel too pressured too soon. 

Eventually (read: a year and a half later… dang it all haha), he asked me to go look at rings, and I ended up choosing the one that I wanted (and am still waiting for… sigh), but for us, this worked really well to bring up the subject without being overly pushy. 🙂

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