(Closed) All or One

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I was in a very similar situation except my total # of BMs would have been 8.  I really didn’t want a large bridal party and couldn’t imagine leaving any of them out so I decided to just go with my sister.  I plan on asking the rest of the ladies to come hang out with me the night before and day of the wedding while I’m getting ready.  I also plan to have a few pro pics with just them like I would with a bridal party.

ETA:  I would suggest you  NOT mention anything to anyone about being in your bridal party since you have so much time left before your wedding.  Relationships change and so do wedding plans Laughing  Our wedding is 8 months out and I have yet to discuss bridal party. 

Post # 4
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Who says the girls have to match the guys? It’s totally okay for them not to! I’d say ask them all to at least help right now, if you are worried about things being different with those same girls in two years, ask them to be in the wedding in a year or so. You’re right in hesitating right now, my advice would be to keep your friends close and see who sticks around and who really is your friend after time goes by. There’s nothing more frustrating than a wedding party made up of a few people who aren’t close any more! 

Post # 4
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Who says the girls have to match the guys? It’s totally okay for them not to! I’d say ask them all to at least help right now, if you are worried about things being different with those same girls in two years, ask them to be in the wedding in a year or so. You’re right in hesitating right now, my advice would be to keep your friends close and see who sticks around and who really is your friend after time goes by. There’s nothing more frustrating than a wedding party made up of a few people who aren’t close any more! 

Post # 5
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s way too soon to be picking BMs.  Even if they’re your best buds, things change (you see posts on here every day about brides wanting to “fire” this Bridesmaid or Best Man or this Bridesmaid or Best Man dropping out).  A lot can happen in 2 years – maybe a close friend moves away and won’t be able to make it back?  I would keep a general idea of who you would like to pick, but I definitely wouldn’t ask until about a year out.

Post # 6
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

They don’t have to match, like PPs have said. But just know, they can help you get ready in the morning and not be BMs. I couldn’t choose all of my close friends to be BMs, but I tried to include them in other ways. They were fine with it, and some of them were relieved that they didn’t have to buy yet another Bridesmaid or Best Man dress!

Post # 7
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PPs that it is too soon to be choosing anyone – I know its tough to wait, but don’t do it any sooner than a year from the wedding! 

Post # 8
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

1. I don’t think you have to have the same number on both sides.

2. Don’t make any decisions on BMs for a while. There was one girl I was going to ask when I first got engaged, and we rarely ever talk anymore.

<3luck

Post # 10
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Shamrocks2117: that was my exact thinking.  I want them there to share the time and be in pics.   That doesn’t necessarily mean they need to buy a dress or carry flowers.  I thought it was a win-win for everyone.

Post # 11
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My best friend got married several years ago and chose only her sister to be a bridesmaid.

It sort of hurt that I wasn’t chosen and I know our other 3 friends were hurt too. Since then all of us have (or will) gotten married and chose my friend to be one of their bridesmaids (she’s a bm in my wedding). She now regrets not choosing us to be bms at her wedding.

I don’t really think bridesmaids are that much trouble, choose girls whose wedding you would want to be in.

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